Tinder Jokes And Puns

Make a date with these funny Tinder jokes and puns because we’re sure they’ll be a great match for you!

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Funny Tinder Jokes

My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I’m paid to travel.

My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I’m a bus driver.

The skip intro button on Netflix is so cool.

I wish Tinder had it too.

I met a girl on Tinder and we were going to go to the gym on our first date, but she stood me up.

I suppose we aren’t gonna work out.

My Tinder match said she’d talk to me again when she got home…

Guess she’s homeless.

A man meets his Tinder date at a carnival.

“There’s so many games!” he said, “What do you wanna do?”

“I wanna get weighed.” she says, shyly looking at the ground.

They go to the GUESS-Your-WEIGHT booth and she wins a stuffed animal.

“What next?” he asks.

“I wanna get weighed.” she says, confidently looking at him.

They return to the GUESS-Your-WEIGHT booth and she wins… nothing… The vendor has a good memory.

“What now?” he asks, a bit annoyed at the repeat activity.

She looks at the man, holding his gaze and carefully says “I. Wanna. Get. WEIGHED.”

He ends the date right there and storms off.

Dejected, the girl goes home to her roommate, who asks, “How was your date?”

She throws the stuffed animal to the ground and shouts, “Wousy!”

This girl on Tinder asked me why I have an unlit cigarette in my picture.

I told her that I am looking for matches.

I keep seeing the quote on women’s Tinder profiles, “If I was meant to be controlled I would have come with a remote.”

The jokes on them though, I’ve been turning women off for years without a remote.

I caught my wife using Tinder last night.

Needless to say, I swiped left on that cheating cow.

I just found out my wife has an identical twin.

I saw her on Tinder.

I found my girlfriend on tinder…

She swiped left…

Also the cops told me to stopped calling her my girlfriend.

If you thought eBay was bad, don’t even try Tinder.

Every time I log in it says “No Matches Available”.

Tinder is for rookies.

Go to Facebook Marketplace and search for wedding dresses.

It’ll show you recently divorced females in your area.

From there you can filter by size.

Pokemon GO is a blatant ripoff of another popular app…

Called Tinder, where you also swipe to find monsters in your area.

Her (On Tinder): I’m a model on Instagram! What do you do?

Him: I’m a soldier, on Call of Duty.

What’s the difference between tinder and amusement parks?

Amusement parks have realistic height requirements.

My friends suggested I use tinder to meet some cute firemen or policemen.

Once it started to burn, I met so many! I even met a reporter and some lawyers!

How do you know a girl on Tinder is real?

When they ignore you.

Tinder is completely useless, and I don’t have a single match.

If I don’t find another way to start a campfire tonight, I’ll freeze to death.

Two parallel lines match on Tinder.

But they never meet!

I just found out that my girlfriend has a twin sister.

I saw her on Tinder.

I was on a date with this girl I found on Tinder.

I reached the cafe early. She came a little later.

Like a gentleman, I helped her sit by pulling her stool.

When she seemed comfortable I asked, “Can I push your stool in?”

She said, “Let’s see how this date goes first.”

So I finally got a Tinder match yesterday.

And immediately I started of by asking, “So have you heard of the Titanic?”

She immediately got annoyed and blocked me.

I guess in retrospect, I shouldn’t have started off with that line.

It’s not a very good icebreaker.

For me, chess is a lot like Tinder…

I know a few openings, but continually struggle to put myself into mating positions.

Some of my friends go on Tinder dates just for free food.

I guess you could call it food for thot.

My friend met his wife on Tinder.

It was six months after their wedding.

I met this girl Mary on tinder and took her to an all you can eat buffet.

I knew it wasn’t going to work out when she told me she was a vegetarian so I decided to go down with guns blazing.

She came back with her salad to find me with my plate loaded up with every type of meat I could get my hands on.

I was shocked, though pleasantly surprised, when she asked for a bite of my kabab.

Mary had a little lamb.

Tinder hookups are like microwave dinners.

Done in 2 minutes, looks nothing like the picture, but just good enough to make you come back for more when you are desperate and nothing better is available.

As a middle aged man I love going up to pretty young women who are staring at their cellphone screens and asking …

Are you my Tinder date?

Yeah, Tinder is great and all…

But have you ever tried to match your own expectations?

My date accused me of lying on my Tinder profile, but what I wrote was absolutely true.

I do have the body of an Olympic athlete.

It’s buried in the backyard.

Why couldn’t the incel start a fire?

Just like always, had tinder but no matches.

I was talking to a girl on tinder while at work when my boss comes up behind me.

He asked me, “What are you doing?”

I said, “I’m hard at work, sir.”

There’s only two kinds of people on Tinder.

Those who are right for you, and those who are left.

What beverage do girls on Tinder drink during the winter?

Thot chocolate.

My tinder profile says I’m 6 feet, 2 inches, and 195 pounds, but the girls I match with are always furious when we meet.

I guess they don’t realize those are three separate measurements.

My Tinder date told me that I shouldn’t be using a straw.

I quickly responded, “I know, I know. It’s bad for the environment.”

“No,” she replied. “It’s just a weird way to eat spaghetti.”

Tinder is like being on a bus.

Everyone is on their phones, but no one is talking.

I put Tinder on my Kindle.

It burst into flames.

I met my wife on Tinder.

We have both a lot to explain now.

I found my wife, my soulmate, my best friend on Tinder.

I guess I wasn’t invited to the orgy.

I got my first message on Tinder!

The Tinder team is quite helpful.

What did Pingu say to the girl he met on Tinder?

Send noots.

I’ve created an app similar to Tinder but it’s for paleontologists.

I call it Carbon Dating.

What’s the redneck version of Tinder?


My Tinder date turned out to be shorter than his bio said.

I guess he was telling some tall tales.

When mushrooms use Tinder…

“I’m a fungi looking for a fungal.”

Tinder Jokes

If you enjoyed these hilarious puns and jokes about Tinder and what another date with laughter, take a look around the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:

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