Wedding Jokes

These wedding jokes are so funny even the wedding cake will be in tiers laughing! If you like laughter, these jokes are your perfect match so they’re sure to get a good reception!

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Funny Wedding Jokes And Puns

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: “Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!”

She’s watching our wedding video again.

My Indian friend just told her parents she wants to wear a Western dress at her wedding.

She said, “Sorry, but not Sari.”

Why do brides cry at the wedding?

Because they never marry the best man.

At a wedding I whispered to a guy next to me, “Isn’t the bride a right ugly dog?”

“Do you mind! That’s my daughter you’re talking about!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you were her father.”

“I’m not… I’m her mother.”

Everyone at our wedding cried.

Even our wedding cake was in tiers.

My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I can;t seem to open any of the files.

I always have trouble with emotional attachments.

A man walks into a wedding reception.

He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Is this the punch line?”

Two antennas met, fell in love and eventually got married.

The wedding ceremony wasn’t much but the reception was excellent.

“Welcome back everybody” is apparently not a good way to start a speech…

If you’re the best man at your friend’s second wedding.

My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo.

Well I think she should look at the bigger picture.

My ex girlfriend invited me to her wedding.

I told her I was busy, but I’d be there next time.

What’s long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name.

My biggest regret is my mother-in-law didn’t live long enough to attend my wedding.

She was the one person who might have stopped it.

“I’d like to have a toast” said the father-in-law at his daughter’s wedding

“Add some jam on it,” he continued.

I told my tailor that I would be choosing and putting on my own clothes for my upcoming wedding.

He said, “Suit yourself.”

I got an invite to a wedding that said “Black tie only”.

But when I got there, everyone else was in tuxedos.

Why were the melons forced to have a traditional wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

What do you call a wedding between two Russian people?

A Soviet Union.

At his wedding, my buddy called me the worst best man he has ever seen.

I was speechless.

I went to a cannibal wedding.

The groom toasted the bridesmaids, the best man toasted the bride and groom and the father of the bride toasted absent friends.

It was one hell of a barbecue.

Me: You really need to watch “A Series of Unfortunate Events”.

Her: Ok. Let me take out the wedding video.

A shy priest greets the wedding guests to the Chapel. He’s very nervous and doesn’t say much.

As the couple approach the altar the priest steps up and gives the best speech anyone has ever heard. He’s full of confidence, incredibly expressive and has everyone in fits of laughter!

After the vows, the priest is extremely shy and barely says a word to anyone.

The groom approaches the him and asks, “Why are you so shy? You seemed like a different person when you were giving that speech!”

“I know.” Says the priest, “But that was just my altar ego”.

I watched the video of my wedding backwards.

I almost cried when I took the ring back, gave her back to her father, moonwalked out of the church, and went away, free.

I was at a bar one night when I heard the most amazing rendition of “Free Bird” being played.

I headed to the stage to find my local magistrate behind the guitar & on the mic.

I was so impressed that I hired him to play my wedding, but there he insisted on playing his original music which was terrible.

Just goes to show, never book a judge by his cover.

Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop to plan for their upcoming nuptials.

After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service.

Offended, the couple can’t believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage he won’t even bake a cake.

The baker says, “No, no, I’m fine with gay marriage, I just can’t support inter-Rachel marriage.”

Scientists have identified a food that completely kills sex drive in women.

It’s called “wedding cake.”

My friend wanted to feel like a princess on her wedding day.

So we made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.

At a wedding reception, the best man said, “Would all the married men please stand next to the person that made their lives worth living.”

The poor bartender was crushed to death.

What’s the difference between an Irish funeral and an Irish wedding?

One less drunk.

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.

His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how he landed such a hot 23 year old beauty?

“Simple,” grins the millionaire. “I faked my age.”

His friends are really amazed and ask him what age he pretended to be.

“Well”, he replied. “I said I was 87!”

Tinder is for rookies.

Go to Facebook Marketplace and search for wedding dresses.

It’ll show you recently divorced females in your area.

From there you can filter by size.

Jokes About Weddings

If you enjoyed these funny wedding jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more great jokes such as these:

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