Online Dating Jokes & Puns

We’re looking for someone with a GSOH to enjoy these funny online dating jokes and puns! Hopefully they’ll match your expectations!

Funny Online Dating Jokes

Two things I learned from online dating: geography and disappointment.

My online dating profile: I love long walks on the beach and cow puns, among udder things.

My friend said that he was going to try online dating. I said, “I didn’t have much luck with it, personally.” “But that’s where we met,” said my girlfriend. I said, “Exactly.”

I’m going to try setting up a new part time online dating service for chickens. I’m not trying to to turn it into a full time business, just trying to help make hens meet.

I’ve joined an online dating agency for arsonists. They send me new matches every week.

I tried online dating recently and it is really refreshing. The ladies actually want to get to know you. Last night my favorite one was asking me really great questions like my first pet’s name and the street I grew up on. She even wanted to know about my mom and her maiden name!

My dad met a lady through an online dating website. He’s been calling her his eBae.

Tired of online dating? You’re not alone. Oh, wait! Yes you are, that’s why you are online dating.

I have no problem getting dates online. I also have good luck with pecans, cashews and walnuts.

On my online dating profile it clearly says that I’m 6 foot – 4 inches. So why when I turn up are woman always disappointed that I’m 5’8″?

I went on a date with a woman whose online profile said she had an “infectious smile”. She had cold sores.

The hardest part about online dating… Is finding someone who clicks with you.

It must be hard dating online as an elderly person. You can’t be sure if you got ghosted or if they just died.

Having a PhD. gains you leverage in online dating. Helps with handling rejections well.

I met the love of my life through an online dating site. Too bad my wife found out.

I went to the first online dating agency I could find and within 1 hour had met my wife! It was love at first site.

You can’t trust anyone you meet in online dating. Just last week I went on a date with a girl and stole $300 from her.

I’ll never join one of those online dating services because I prefer to meet someone the good old-fashioned way. Through alcohol and poor judgement.

My sister was complaining her online dating profile only attracted pigs. She’s a real babe magnet.

My wife has been looking for pitted dates for a few days now, and was getting fed up, so she was going buy them on Amazon. I told I wasn’t comfortable with her online dating.

I just joined an online site for gold miner dating. My first search for a mate brought no matches, but did give me plenty of prospects.

I finally tried online dating with Okcupid. It’s ok.

T-Rex was upset that nobody would swipe right. Dating is tough for online predators.

I went on a date with a girl from an online dating website. I was worried she’d be fatter than she looked in her pictures. Turns out he wasn’t.

I tried online dating in Japan but I kept getting ghosted whenever plans were made to meet up in person. I gave up after several weeks of back-to-back cancel Asians.

Why don’t fish do online dating? They are afraid they might get hooked, or catfished.

I’m starting an online dating site for men who want to meet someone just like their mother. It’s called Oedipal Arrangements.

I recently watched a film called Online Dating. Honestly, it wasn’t as good as it looked on the internet.

After 3 failed marriages, an old woman decides to try an online dating site. She sets up an account with all her info and says she is looking for “a man who will not beat me, will not walk all over me, and is great in bed.” After 2 weeks no one has replied. Then, one day some one rings the doorbell. The woman gets up and opens the door to see a man with no arms and no legs sitting there. He says “Hello, I’m here about your online dating profile.” The woman says to him, “Well I want a man who won’t beat me.” The man says, “I have no arms, therefore I can not beat you.” The woman says, “Well I want a man who won’t walk all over me.” The man replies, “I have no legs, so I can’t even walk.” The woman says, “Well, I want a man who’s great in bed.” The man replies, “Hey, I rang the doorbell didn’t I?”

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Jokes About Online Dating

If you enjoyed these hilarious puns and jokes about online dating, be sure to give the rest of LaffGaff a try, where we have lots more funny jokes, such as these:

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