Funny Hitler Jokes And Puns

Are Hitler jokes wrong?

Obviously Hitler was evil but does that mean we can’t make fun of him and ridicule him?

We think not, so we’ve put together a collection of Hitler-ious jokes and puns, with no offense intended.

We hope you enjoy these funny Hitler jokes and puns that are sure to get you Reich in the funny bone!

A selection of funny Hitler jokes and puns

Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy.

After all, he did kill Hitler.


What do you call Hitler in a pool?

Adolfin.


I went to an auction today where they were selling a cheese grater once owned by both Hitler and Osama Bin Laden.

It was the grater of two evils.


One of Hitler’s assistants says to him one day, “Sir, we’re mining too many useless ores.”

Hitler replies, “Well, mine less.”

One of his other assistants, a stickler for correct grammar, then shouts, “Mine FEWER!”

Hitler looks up and asks, “Yes?”


Hitler jokes are rude. Anne Frank-ly we don’t care.


I kinda feel sorry for Hitler.

Looking back at some old photos of him, his friends always left him hanging when he went for a high-five.


Why did Hitler hate golf?

Because he ended up in the bunker.


I just watched a documentary about Adolf Hitler.

He sure was a popular guy.

Everywhere he went, people shouted “Hi Hitler” and gave him a little wave.


I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.


What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?

Not Z.


Enough with the Hitler jokes. They make me Fuhrer-ious.


We really should erect a statue of the guy who killed Hitler.


If you don’t think history is amusing, then you’ve clearly never seen Hitler in shorts.


Hitler wanted peace.

A piece of Poland, a piece of Czechoslovakia and a piece of Turkey.


Hitler and Goering are standing at the top of Berlin’s tallest radio tower.

Hitler says he needs to do something that will brighten up the German people.

Goering says, “Why don’t you jump off?”


It’s just been discovered that as well as writing a book, Adolf Hitler also wrote one of the first computer games…

Mein Kraft.


Say what you like about Hitler, the man had ball.


Hitler walks into his meeting room, turns to his trusted staff and says, “I want you to organize the execution of 10,000 Jews and one kitten.”

Everyone looks around the table and, after a long silence, Goering pipes up. “Mein Führer, why do you want to kill a kitten?”

Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table. “You see, no one cares about the Jews.”


I suffer from schizophrenia that results in delusions that I’m either Adolf Hitler or Winston Churchill.

I suppose I’m my own worst enemy.


Hitler must have been a really bad golfer.

Fancy committing suicide just because he was trapped in a bunker.


It’s amazing just how paranoid Hitler was.

In Hitler’s Germany it was illegal to make jokes about him or his regime.

Come on! Forbidding Germans from making jokes? Isn’t that a bit like forbidding Americans from eating salad?


I was named after Hitler.

Chronologically that is.


Hitler: “It’s getting cold. What is ze Wetter forecast?”

“Hail, Hitler.”


Bad Hitler puns are infuhreriating.


Hitler went to a fortune teller and asked her, “On what day will I die?”

The fortune teller told him that he would die on a Jewish holiday.

“Why are you so sure of that?” demanded Hitler.

“Any day,” she replied, “on which you die will be a Jewish holiday.”


Why doesn’t Hitler take cabs?

He is more of an Ubermensch.


How did Hitler tie his shoes?

In knotsies.


What do you call Hitler speeding?

The Fast and the Fuherous.


Why couldn’t Hitler eat oranges?

Because he hated the juice.


What did Hitler call his favourite chair?

Mein Kampfy Chair.


Why can’t Hitler play baseball?

It’s three reichs and you’re out.


What does Hitler sleep with?

Mein Kampforter.


What’d they call Adolf Hitler when he lost his job?

Laidoff Hitler.


Son: Hey Dad, can you explain “germination”?

Dad: Well, son. Hitler wanted to make the whole world a Germination.


What planet did Hitler hate the most?

Jewpiter.


Hitler Puns & Jokes

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