Black Friday Jokes

Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving and is considered to be the start of the holiday shopping season, a crucial time for retailers. These funny Black Friday jokes and puns sum up the chaos and absurdity of this strange day.

Header image for a page of funny Black Friday jokes and puns.

Funny Black Friday Jokes And Puns

I don’t know what the big deal is about Black Friday.

All Fridays matter to me.

Tomorrow is Black Friday.

Just be decent and civilized.

By holding the cell phone horizontal when recording any fights.

It’s Black Friday, and I just got an iPhone 11 for my wife.

I thought it was a good trade.

Why do cops love going to Black Friday early?

So they can beat the crowd.

Every year on Black Friday I make sure I wake up extra early.

To go on the internet to see all the fights.

Why do shoppers feel like cranberry sauce on Black Friday?

They get bruised, battered, and squished into pulp trying to get to the bargain bin.

Did you hear about the guy who shot himself in Walmart on Black Friday?

They’re calling it a self-checkout.

I actually enjoy Black Friday.

It’s the one day I know exactly where all the nut jobs are and how to avoid them.

Black Friday: Only in America do people trample others for cheap goods just hours after being thankful for what they already have.

Black Friday sale on Star Wars Battlefront 2.

Save up to $2160 by not buying it.

Do you know why they call it Black Friday?

Everything is 3/5 the price.

How can you tell which one of your friends got a good Black Friday deal?

Don’t worry, they’ll let you know.

I never understood the point of Black Friday.

Could have sworn we already gave them a whole month.

I’m going to spend a thousand dollars for a computer on Black Friday.

It’s going to be grand.

Which family usually spends the most on Black Friday?

The one who earns the least.

It’s Black Friday and the mall is packed with shoppers. John has lost sight of his wife and can’t find her.

He goes up to a very attractive woman and says, “Excuse me, can you help me? I cannot see my wife, and I know that she is here in the shopping mall somewhere. Can you just talk to me for a couple of minutes?”

The attractive woman replies “Why?”

John says, “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife materialises out of thin air.”

A small business owner was upset when a brand new corporate chain much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read “BEST BLACK FRIDAY DEALS!”

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on the other side of him and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading “LOWEST BLACK FRIDAY PRICES!”

The small business owner panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop.

It read “MAIN ENTRANCE”.

Why do Mormons get married on Black Friday?

Because they get 2 for 1.

Black Friday: The day people spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need.

The boat shop was having a huge discount on all their Galleons and Brigantines for Black Friday this year.

It was the biggest sail event they’ve ever had.

What do you call an amazing Black Friday special that comes with free cake?

A sweet deal.

So Black Friday at the Geology Museum was great!

There were so many great shales! It really rocked.

All this spending on Black Friday.

Better make sure ya’ll pay the electric bill first or next Friday will be Black Friday too.

What happens when Black Friday falls on Friday the 13th?

Prices get slashed!

I’ve got the deal already worked out this Black Friday.

I’m getting a new Lexus for my wife.

I think she’s going to be really surprised but from my perspective, it’s an awesome trade.

Amazing BLACK FRIDAY deal:

Buy NOTHING and save up to 100% in EVERY STORE!

I bought a new vacuum on Black Friday.

It sucks.

What do Black Friday shoppers and a Thanksgiving turkey have in common?

They both know what it’s like to be jammed into a small place and stuffed.

Why do Americans go shopping on Black Friday?

They are thankful they survived Thanksgiving dinner.

Why do they call the day after Thanksgiving “Black Friday”?

Because it matches the mood of all the miserable shoppers.

Who profits the most on Black Friday?

The folks who were smart enough to stay home.

Why do people go clothes shopping on Black Friday?

To replace all the clothes they spilled Thanksgiving dinner on.

I’ve saved an absolute fortune this Black Friday.

I stayed in.

Who experienced the first Black Friday?

Robinson Crusoe.

Retailers be like, remember everyone…

Black Friday matters.

My version of Black Friday is deleting all the people in my phone who sent me a mass Thanksgiving text.

I was too lazy to go out shopping today, so to make it feel like Black Friday, I punched a few family members while online shopping.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed our funny Black Friday jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: