Cyber Monday Jokes

Cyber Monday is the Monday after Thanksgiving. It’s a day that was created by retailers to encourage people to spend even more money online following Black Friday. Enjoy these funny Cyber Monday jokes and one-liners that sum up the absurdity of this day of rampant commercialism!

Header image for a page of funny Cyber Monday jokes and one liners.

Funny Cyber Monday Jokes And Puns

Last year I bought an instructional boxing DVD on Cyber Monday.

This year I’m going Black Friday shopping.

I hope that Cyber Monday extends to the deep web.

Because I’m going to need to a discount on a new liver after all of that Thanksgiving drinking!

Good Friday is the day Jesus died.

Easter Sunday is the day Jesus rose from the dead.

And Cyber Monday is the day Jesus ascended into the cloud.

Did you hear about the group of restless Cyber Monday TVs?

They were ADHD.

Online shopping sucks.

It’s a lot harder to shove a 70-year-old out of the way on the way to a $2 waffle iron deal.

Wait, Cyber Monday is about shopping?

Apologies to my friends on my chat list.

Cyber Monday – finally a reason to legitimately feel appear focused at work.

I hope your Black Friday injuries aren’t so severe you can’t click a mouse on Cyber Monday.

What comes after Cyber Monday?

Buyer’s Remorse Tuesday and Hiding From Your Creditors Wednesday.

Cyber Monday – the day when you can get a great deal today on something you didn’t want yesterday.

I’ll be shopping online this Cyber Monday but to get in the shopping mood, I’ll be parking my car a mile from my house and push some people out of the way first.

I remember when the Monday after Thanksgiving meant back to work.

Now it means back to work buying stuff on the internet all day.

Cyber Monday – the day you spend more money at work than you made at work that day.

Cyber Monday means broke Tuesday.

Cyber Monday is the day Americans spend billions of dollars shopping online.

The day after is the day they celebrate What The Hell Is All This Junk Wednesday.

Susan was driving home on Cyber Monday when she saw an elderly Apache woman walking along the side of the road outside Albuquerque, New Mexico.

She stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a lift?

With a silent nod, the woman climbed into the car.

Susan tried in vain to make conversation with the Apache woman but to no avail as the woman didn’t speak or answer her questions.

Meanwhile, the old Apache looked closely at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a red gift bag on the seat next to Freya.

Finally she broke her silence and spoke.

“What’s in the bag?” asked the old woman.

“It’s a bottle of gin that I got for my husband,” replied Susan.

The Apache woman was silent for another minute or two.

Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, “Good trade.”

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed these funny Cyber Monday jokes and one-liners, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: