Funny Thanksgiving JokesThese funny Thanksgiving jokes and puns certainly aren’t fowl and there’s enough of them to sate your appetite for humor until you’re stuffed!

So enjoy them, and happy Thanksgiving!

Funny Thanksgiving Jokes & Puns

What does a Pilgrim call his friends?

Pal-grims.

What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day?

On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day. On Election day, you get a turkey for four years.

What’s the key to a fantastic Thanksgiving dinner?

The tur-key.

What does Miley Cyrus eat for Thanksgiving?

Twerky.

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?

Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving.

What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?

Breakfast or lunch.

It seems like every Thanksgiving I end up eating leftovers for weeks afterwards.

Not this year though – I’m quitting cold turkey.

How many cooks does it take to stuff a turkey?

Only one, but you really have to squeeze them in.

Why did the Pilgrims pants keep falling down?

Because their belt buckles were on their hats.

The day before Thanksgiving, a guy in Phoenix calls his son in New York and tells him,”Son, I’m really sorry but I have to tell you that your mother and I are splitting up. We can’t live with each other any more.”

The son is distraught and shouts down the phone at his father, “Pop, what are you talking about?”

The father replies, “It’s just that we can’t stand the sight of each other any more. And I’m sick of talking about this, so will you call your sister in Chicago and tell her?”

The father than hangs up, and the son frantically calls his sister, who’s equally distraught and exclaims, “Like heck they’re getting divorced! Leave it to me, I’ll take care of this.”

So she calls her father and shouts down the phone at him, “You are NOT getting divorced! Don’t you dare to do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t you dare do a thing about this. Do you hear me?”

She then hangs up, at which point the father hangs up his phone, turns to his wife and says, “Okay dear, they’re both coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?

Their age.

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme.

What do turkeys like to eat on Thanksgiving?

Nothing, they’re already stuffed.

What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?

The letter G.

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims.

I think my favorite Thanksgiving food is pie.

But some people say that’s irrational.

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock music.

When did the Pilgrims first say, “God bless America”?

The first time they heard America sneeze.

Why did the Pilgrim kill the turkey?

Because he was in a fowl mood.

What did the hipster say the day after Thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?

He had an arrow escape.

Thanksgiving Jokes

If you enjoyed our funny Thanksgiving jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of our site for lots more funny jokes too.

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