What Are The Chances?
I went into a bookstore and asked the woman behind the counter, “What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?”
She said, “Slim to Nun?”
Religious Jokes
We prayed to the God of laughter and he answered our prayers by giving us these funny religious jokes. So we have faith you’ll find them as hilarious as us.
Enjoy this collection of religious jokes.
Collections Of Funny Religious Jokes
Atheist Jokes
Atheist jokes don’t need a higher power to be funny. They’re out of this world when it comes to laughter though!
Bible Jokes
These funny bible jokes are made of the rite stuff. Just like Samson, they’re sure to bring the house down!
Christian Jokes
Religion is a serious business but sometimes you just have to laugh. Enjoy these funny Christian jokes.
Episcopalian Jokes
The Episcopal church is a member of the Anglican Communion in the U.S. Enjoy these funny Episcopalian jokes!
Latest Religious Jokes:
Forgive Me
Forgive me father, pastor, vicar, padre, priest…
For I have synonymed.
Basketball Game
God and Satan arranged a basketball game between Heaven and Hell.
“I know for a fact we are gonna win,” said God. “We have all the best players up here…Wilt Chamberlain, Moses Malone, Kobe Bryant, and so on.”
“I wouldn’t count on that, God,” said Satan. “You see, down here, we have all the referees.”
Nice Smelling Pope
Which Pope smells the nicest?
Pope Pourri.
First Christening
I went to my first Christening today and the church burned down.
Talk about a baptism of fire!
Funny Buddha
Why did Buddha start pulling coins out of his butt?
Because change comes from within.
Religious Movement
I accidentally drank some holy water with my laxative.
I’m about to start a religious movement.
Secret Life
I just found out my friend has a secret life as a priest.
It’s his altar ego.
Flat Earth
The only thing flat-earthers fear …
is sphere itself.
Religious Gym
I just joined a gym for religious minorities.
Jehovah’s Fitness.
Cloud Computing
I never knew how technologically advanced Moses was.
But today I learned he had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
Jehovah’s Witness
My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
Higher Power Needed
None of my European electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God.
Turns out they just needed a higher power.
Biblical Accuracy
When is the Bible accurate?
When it’s thrown from close range.
Atheism And Religion
Atheism and religion are but two sides of the same coin.
One prefers to use its head, while the other relies on tales.
Let There Be Light!
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, “Let there be light.”
There was still nothing, but now you could see it.
Ripped Jesus
Why did Jesus look so ripped during crucifixion?
Crossfit.
Who Led The Jews?
Who led the Jews across a semi-permeable membrane?
Os-Moses.
Book Of Revelation
John the Apostle is writing the Book of Revelation.
He says to God, “So, Lord, the end will be signalled by trumpets?”
God replies, “No… I said Trump/Pence.”
John says, “Yeah, trumpets.”
God says, “No… oh, never mind. They’ll know.”
Good Christian
I found someone’s wallet today, and as a good Christian I thought, “What would Jesus do?”
So I turned it into wine.
