We prayed to the God of laughter and he answered our prayers by giving us these funny religious jokes.
So we have faith you’ll find them as hilarious as us.
Enjoy this collection of religious jokes.
Best Religious Jokes
I went to my first Christening today and the church burned down.
Talk about a baptism of fire!
Why did Buddha start pulling coins out of his butt?
Because change comes from within.
I accidentally drank some holy water with my laxative.
I’m about to start a religious movement.
I just found out my friend has a secret life as a priest.
It’s his altar ego.
Why did the Muslim get a speeding ticket during Ramadan?
He was going to fast.
I just joined a gym for religious minorities.
Jehovah’s Fitness.
What did the Hindu man say when his friends invited him to go out?
Namaste home.
I never knew how technologically advanced Moses was.
But today I learned he had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
My local drug dealer started dressing up as a Jehovah’s Witness so he wouldn’t arouse suspicion.
He got arrested after the police saw people actually letting him in.
None of my European electronics worked properly in the US, until I prayed to God.
Turns out they just needed a higher power.
When is the Bible most accurate?
When it’s thrown from close range.
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, “Let there be light.”
There was still nothing, but now you could see it.
Why did Jesus look so ripped during crucifixion?
Crossfit.
Who led the Jews across a semi-permeable membrane?
Os-Moses.
I found someone’s wallet today, and as a good Christian I thought, “What would Jesus do?”
So I turned it into wine.
My Muslim co-worker brought a CD copy of the Quran into work today.
He got really annoyed when I asked if I could burn a copy.
Judas says to Jesus, “Come on Jesus, we’re going to be late for the last supper.”
Jesus says, “Late for the what?”
Judas says, “The supper… We’re going to be late for supper.”
A Jew was lying on his death bed. He asks his wife if she is there. She says that she is.
He asks his son if he is there. He replies that he is.
He asks if his daughter is there. She replies that she is.
As he finds out everyone is there, he has a heart attack and dies. His last words were, “Why… is no-one… in the shop?”
After God had created 24 hours of alternating light and darkness, one of his angels asked him what he was going to do next.
He said, “I think I’m going to call it a day.”
A guy runs into a bar, yelling at the bartender, “Quick, how tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Oh, about 3 feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
What did Buddha say to the hotdog vendor?
“Make me one with everything.”
Why won’t ISIS bomb my local Walmart?
Because it’s not a Target.
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
I know Muslims don’t eat pork.
But Islam ok though?
I only believe in 12.5% of the bible.
Which makes me an eighth theist.
What do you call Muslim chili peppers?
Halalapenos.
My wife left me for a Hindu guy.
It’s okay though, he’ll treat her better.
They worship cows.
Have you heard about the monk who claimed to see the face of Jesus in a tub of margarine?
He said, “I can’t believe its not Buddha.”
Religious Jokes Pages
Atheist Jokes
Atheist jokes don’t need a higher power to be funny. They’re out of this world when it comes to laughter though!
Bible Jokes
These funny bible jokes are made of the rite stuff. Just like Samson, they’re sure to bring the house down!
Christian Jokes
Religion is a serious business but sometimes you just have to laugh. Enjoy these funny Christian jokes.
More Fun And Laughter
If you enjoyed these funny religious jokes, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more fun and laughter. We have a huge selection of funny jokes, trivia questions and answers, funny quotes, quizzes, riddles, facts and pick up lines, so there’s something for everyone!
