We certainly couldn’t pass over the opportunity to bring you these funny Passover jokes and puns. Celebrate the Jewish holiday of Pesach with laughter!
Funny Passover Jokes And Puns
A Jewish father calls his son David in New York and tells him, “I hate to tell you, but your mother and I can’t stand each other anymore and we are divorcing. That’s it! I want to live out the rest of my years in peace. I am telling you now so you and your sister shouldn’t go into shock later when I move out.”
The father hangs up and David immediately calls his sister and tells her the news. The sister says, “I’ll handle this.”
She calls Florida and gets her father on the phone. She pleads to her father, “Don’t do ANYTHING ’til David and I get there! We will be there Friday night.”
The father says, “All right, all right, I’ll wait.”
When the father hangs up the phone he hollers to his wife, “Okay, they’re coming for Passover. Now, what are we going to tell them for Rosh Hashanah?”
A British Jew is waiting to be knighted.
He is to kneel before the Queen and recite a sentence in Latin as she taps him on the shoulders with her sword.
However, in the excitement of the moment, he panics and forgets the Latin phrase.
Thinking fast, he recites the only other foreign phrase that comes to mind, which comes from the Passover Seder:
“Ma nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot.”
Puzzled, the Queen turns to her advisor and whispers, “Why is this knight different from all other knights?”
A Jew owns two pet rabbits and every so often, he’d give them some cardboard to chew on.
On Passover, he decided to give them some matzah to see how they’d like it.
The two rabbits try the matzah. One said to the other, “Does this cardboard taste a bit funny to you?”
The second responds, “Not really. Why is this this cardboard different from all other cardboards?”
Free Matzohs!
And that’s a deal you can’t passover!
If you get yelled at for spooning too much meat juice over your Passover roast…
You would be a lambasted lamb baster.
What cheese is served at the Passover Seder?
Matzah-rella.
I don’t use too much wine in making charosis for Passover.
I don’t want to get charosis of the liver.
What’s your favorite Passover film?
Shawshankbone Redemption.
Why do we have a Haggadah at Passover?
So we can Seder right words.
What do you call someone who derives pleasure from the bread of affliction?
A matzochist.
How does Moses make beer?
Hebrews it.
What did one Seder plate say to the other?
“Dinner is on me!”
Why did the matzah quit his job?
Because he didn’t get a raise.
How does NASA organize their Passover seders in space?
They planet.
What army base is off limits on Passover?
Fort Leavenworth.
My friend says Jews on Passover have a preoccupation with vengeance.
We’ll see about that.
What’s the difference between matzoh and cardboard?
Cardboard doesn’t leave crumbs in the rug.
Why did the matza baker rob the bank?
He needed the dough.
What kind of cake do you eat after the big Passover meal?
A stomach cake.
How is a good sermon like a piece of matza?
They both should take less than 18 minutes.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed our funny Passover jokes and puns, we have lots more funny religious jokes such as these:
