Corruption Defined

A little girl asks her father, “Daddy, what is corruption?”

Her dad replies, “Go bring me a beer and I’ll tell you.”

The girl says, “But mommy said you should stop drinking!”

The dad says, “Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.”

The girl says, “Oh, okay!”

Ready To Retire

After 37 years I’m finally ready to retire with $5,000,000 I’ve accumulated through hard work, careful saving, living a life of simple means…

And the death of an uncle who left me $4,999,996.50.

Will Mention

“Am I mentioned in the will?” asked the nephew nervously.

“You sure are,” replied the lawyer. “It says right here… To my niece Susan I bequeath one hundred and fifty thousand dollars, to my cousin Alice seventy five thousand dollars, and to my nephew Paul who was always asking if he was mentioned in the will, I say, ‘Hi Paul’.”

A Reason To Cry

Do you remember when you were a kid and when you cried your parents would say, “I’ll give you a reason to cry”?

I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.

Name Origins

A boy asks his Dad one day, “Dad, why is my sister called Paris?”

His Dad replies, “Because she was conceived in Paris.”

The boy says, “Ahh, thanks Dad.”

His Dad says, “You’re welcome, Backseat.”