Niece Jokes

All things are relative, but we think these funny niece jokes and puns are f-aunt-astic! It’s uncle-ear if you’ll ever read any funnier!

Header image for a page of funny niece jokes and puns.

Funny Niece Jokes And Puns

I recently discovered I can move my sister’s daughters through the air with my brain but not her sons.

I think I have telekinieces.

I told my teenage niece to go get me a phone book.

She laughed at me, and said, “Oh uncle, you’re so old. Just use my phone.”

So I slammed her phone against the wall to kill a spider.

I told my niece that I saw a moose on the way to work this morning.

She said, “How do you know he was on his way to work?”

My niece was visiting me and she wouldn’t eat the beef tongue I offered her because it came out of the mouth of an animal.

So I prepared her an egg instead.

A mother of twins went into labor and passed out.

She woke up hours later to find her (not so bright) sister carrying her twins.

Nervously the new mother asked her sister whether the children has been named.

To which the sister replied yes.

The new mother, shocked and scared, then asked the sister what she named the children to which she replied she named the niece Denise.

The mother feeling a little better then asked what she had name the boy.


My uncle told me I’m the favorite daughter of his brother.

Which is niece.

My ADD niece can never find her car.

She always loses her focus.

My niece complained about my oldest computer which hadn’t yet been upgraded to Windows 7.

In my best Schwarzenegger accent, I declared, “I still love Vista, baby!”

A young girl is living with her aunt.

One night the girl is on her way out to go dancing when the aunt notices that her niece isn’t wearing a bra, and her shirt is quite translucent.

So the aunt stops her before she leaves the house and demands where she is going dressed like that.

“Oh Aunty,” the girl replies, “I’m just letting my rosebuds show”

The next day, the girl is about to leave the apartment and she notices her aunt wearing no bra and a translucent shirt.

“Auntie! What are you doing?” the girl asks.

To this the aunt replies, “I’m just showing off my hanging baskets.”

Every family has that weird, slightly perverted uncle.

Not me, though! I just have some really hot nieces who won’t let me buy them beer.

How ironic.

My wife’s niece got pregnant.

On a pull-out sofa.

What do you call an immunologist that has a niece?

Auntie Jen.

If a redneck couple gets pregnant, what will they have?

Either a niece or a nephew.

More Funny Jokes

If these funny niece jokes and puns tickled your funny bone, be sure to take a look at the rest of LaffGaff for lots more really funny jokes like these:

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