Back Surgery Jokes And Puns

We’ve finally found the spine to bring you these funny back surgery jokes and puns! Don’t worry – we’ve got your back when it comes to laughter!

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Funny Back Surgery Jokes

I had a back surgery a while ago.

About a weak back.

The hunchback didn’t believe he needed back surgery.

He stands corrected.

A spine surgeon’s to-do list:

1. Get back to work.

I called my dad the day after he had major back surgery and asked him how he felt.

His response: “With my hands.”

I just had spinal fusion surgery.

Now I’m totally screwed up.

The surgeon said to me, “I’m pleased to say your back surgery went successfully and we removed the infected vertebra from your spine.”

I said, “Doc, are you sure this will solve my problem?”

He said, “Don’t worry, we’ve got your back!”

I watched a movie called “The Adjustment,” about a chiropractor who quits, goes back to school and becomes an famous orthopedic spine surgeon.

I didn’t really like it.

Too much backstory.

Did you hear about the footballer who had to have 75% of his spine removed during surgery?

He’s a quarterback.

I broke my spine in an accident last year and had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.

Since then I’ve never looked back.

I’m thinking of having surgery to remove my spine.

It’s holding me back.

Why did the 3d modeler need back surgery?

He injured his spline.

After my back surgery, the surgeon told me I wouldn’t be able to do any lifting for several months.

I said, “But how am I supposed to go to the bathroom then?”

I had to have back surgery because my backpack messed up my spine.

Apparently, the worst case of schooliosis ever!

The head surgeon shouted at me for accidentally severing the patient’s spine during back surgery.

I think I struck a nerve.

Quasimodo said to the doctor, “I think I need back surgery, doc.”

The doctor replied, “What makes you think that?”

“Just a hunch.”

The crazy surgeon took out my spine and replaced it with someone else’s during my surgery.

I’m furious.

I want to get my own back.

Tony was trying to do something special for his new wife for her birthday.

He couldn’t think of anything to give her, so he reluctantly goes to his mother-in-law for some advice.

She decides they should go to the mall to shop for some things together.

On their way over to the mall, they get into a bad car accident.

They get t-boned on the side of the car where the mother-in-law was sitting and she had to get taken to the hospital immediately, while Tony luckily only suffered a few bruises.

Tony was in the hospital waiting room to hear the news on how his mother-in-law is.

The doctor comes out into the waiting room.

“I have some good news and some bad news.” Says the doctor.

“What’s the bad news?” asks Tony.

The doctor explains, “The bad news is that your mother-in-law suffered some severe nerve damage to her neck and spine. The emergency back surgery went wrong and she is paralyzed and will have to be assisted when she eats and uses the bathroom. She also has a serious head concussion that will leave her unable to speak indefinitely.”

“Gee, doc,” says Tony. “What could the good news possibly be?”

“I was just kidding! She’s dead.”

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed these hilarious puns and jokes about back surgery, check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: