Rabbit smiley laughing at a good joke

32nd Birthday

My wife is turning 32 soon.

I’ve told her not to get her hopes up for her birthday. “After all,” I said, “The celebrations are only going to last half a minute.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

I said, “It’s your thirty-second birthday.”

Smiley in sunglasses laughing at really funny joke

Favorite Letter

A teacher asks her class what their favorite letter is.

A student puts his hand up and says, “G, miss”.

The teacher asks, “Why is that, Angus?”

Dumb smiley laughing at very funny joke

Religious Parents

My girlfriend’s parents are very religious.

The first time I was at their house, her Dad told me we weren’t allowed to sleep together.

It was a bit of a shame – he was very attractive.

Rabbit laughing at funny joke

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

A man and his wife are having an argument.

The wife yells, “Get out of the house, I hate you! I want a divorce, get out now!”

Then, as her husband is walking out the door, she screams, “I hope you die a slow and painful death!”

The husband stops and says, “Hang on a minute, now you want me to stay?”