Funny Good Morning Quotes

One of the best way to get your morning off to a good start is with funny good morning quotes. They put a smile on your face and lighten your mood as you prepare to face the challenges of the day ahead.

And so to help you out, we’ve put together this fantastic collection of hilariously funny good morning quotes for you. Enjoy!

A collection of funny good morning quotes

Funny Good Morning Quotes

Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.

William Feather

I always say “Morning” instead of “Good Morning”. If it were a good morning, I would still be asleep in bed instead of talking to people.


The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

Dorothy Parker

Good morning is a contradiction of terms.

Jim Davis

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, “Did you sleep good?” I said “No, I made a few mistakes.”

Steven Wright

Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.

Richard Whately

I’d like mornings better if only they started a bit later.


There are two ways of waking up in the morning. One is to say, “Good morning, God,” and the other is to say, “Good God, morning!”

Fulton J. Sheen

Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.

Mark Twain

Work out in the morning, before your brain figures out what you’re doing.


I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.

Dean Martin

I love the smell of juice boxes in the morning.

Robert Duvall

People who say “Good morning” should be forced to prove it.


The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Robert Frost

There was never a night or a problem that could defeat sunrise or hope.

Bernard Williams

I can rise and shine, just not at the same time.


Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.

Glen Cook

No matter how good or bad your life is, wake up each morning and be thankful that you still have one.


This is a wonderful day, I have never seen this one before.

Maya Angelou

Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.

Glen Cook

I always write “Wake Up” on my To-Do-List so I can at least accomplish one thing a day.


I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.

Benjamin Franklin

It sounds plausible enough tonight, but wait until tomorrow. Wait for the common sense of the morning.

H. G. Wells

If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don’t be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning “Good morning” at total strangers.

Maya Angelou

Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spent the rest of the day putting the pieces together.

Ray Bradbury

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.


Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.

Robert Heinlein

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

Lewis Black

Do you wish me a good morning, or mean that it is a good morning whether I want it or not; or that you feel good this morning; or that it is a morning to be good on?

J.R.R. Tolkien

Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening.

Mahatma Gandhi

There are two kinds of people in this world: 1. Morning people. 2. People who want to shoot morning people.


I hate when I dream of alarm clocks going off.

Jarod Kintz

Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside – remembering all the times you’ve felt that way.

Charles Bukowski

The easiest time to fall asleep is just after turning off the alarm clock.


Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.

Kurt Cobain

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.

Robert Orben

Woke up this morning with a terrific urge to lie in bed all day and read.

Raymond Carver

I wake up with a good attitude every morning. And then idiots happen.


My routine is to ride that snooze button as far as it will take me, take a quick shower, get dressed in the dark and bolt out the door.

Willie Geist

“When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,” said Piglet at last, “what’s the first thing you say to yourself?” “What’s for breakfast?” said Pooh. “What do you say, Piglet?” “I say, I wonder what’s going to happen exciting today?” said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. “It’s the same thing,” he said.

A. A. Milne

If the world were merely seductive, that would be easy. If it were merely challenging, that would be no problem. But I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day.

E.B. White

More Funny Quotes

If you enjoyed these funny good morning quotes, why not take a look at the rest of our funny quotes too, including these: