Funny Friday Quotes And Sayings

Friday is our favorite day of the week because it means the weekend is coming and we slack off, and that always makes us happy!

And what better way to celebrate our favorite day than with these funny Friday quotes. Enjoy!

A selection of funny Friday quotes

Funny Friday Quotes

If it’s the fifth day in a row that you don’t feel like working, it means it’s finally Friday!


Friday is the beginning of my liver’s work week.


I know each day is a gift, but where’s the receipt for Mondays? I want to exchange it for another Friday.


There are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.

Bill Hicks

Why is Monday so far from Friday, and Friday so far from Monday?


I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.


The wages of sin is death but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Fridays.

Terry Pratchett

Dear Monday, I want to break up. I’m seeing Tuesday and dreaming about Friday. Sincerely, it’s not me, it’s you.


Youth is like a long weekend on Friday night. Middle age is like a long weekend on Monday afternoon.

Richard Nelson Bolles

It’s Friday. Any plan of being a productive member of society is officially thrown out the window.


Music always sounds better on Friday.

Lou Brutus

The way I see it, every Friday is Good Friday.


Nothing messes up your Fridays more than realizing it’s only Thursday.


It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?

Amy Neftzger

Things people say: It’s Friday! Things self-employed people say: It’s Friday?Unknown


Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

If my boss knew how unproductive I am on Fridays, he wouldn’t want me here either.


There are two tests in life, more important than any other test. On Monday morning, when you wake up, do you feel in the pit of your stomach you can’t wait to go to work? And when you’re ready to go home Friday afternoon, do you say, “I can’t wait to go home?”

Chuck Schumer

Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to stop me from savagely beating one of my coworkers with a keyboard.


The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. God has a three-day weekend.

George Carlin

If you’re playing World of Warcraft on a Friday night & you put your ear up to your monitor, it sounds exactly like having no friends.


I am always happy to meet my friend, and my friend is my weekend.

Debasish Mridha

It’s Friday! I can’t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend.


I am instantly 70% nicer after 3pm on Fridays.


Work is about a search for daily meaning as well as daily bread, for recognition as well as cash, for astonishment rather than torpor; in short, for a sort of life rather than a Monday through Friday sort of dying.

Studs Terkel

The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door, the scream of fire engines, or the realization that today is the Monday which on Friday night was a comfortably long way off.

Terry Pratchett

It was a Friday night, she was at a club, and a good-looking man was currently giving her the I-want-to-take-you-home-and-I-hope-I-last-longer-than-five-minutes look… and she was thinking about pie, a young adult book, and feeding her cat. She was so turning into the cat lady at twenty-seven. Sweet.

J. Lynn

More Funny Quotes

If you liked our funny Friday quotes, be sure to have a read of our Friday jokes, as well as all our other funny quotes and sayings too, including these: