Hilarious Quotes About Wine

We doubt anyone will whine about these funny wine quotes!

In fact, you’ll probably all be grapeful for the amusement they offer…


A collection of funny wine quotes

They say a glass of wine is good for you. So two glasses must be better? ~ Unknown

Life is too short, and I’m Italian. I’d much rather eat pasta and drink wine than be a size 0. ~ Sophia Bush

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. ~ Eduardo Galeano

When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does – faked it. ~ Art Buchwald

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. ~ W. C. Fields

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. ~ Samuel Johnson

The discovery of a wine is of greater moment than the discovery of a constellation. The universe is too full of stars. ~ Benjamin Franklin

A good general rule is to state that the bouquet is better than the taste, and vice versa. ~ Stephen Potter

Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it. ~ Frank Muir

Beer is made by men, wine by God. ~ Martin Luther

I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get. ~ Unknown

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself; I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. ~ Samuel Johnson

Wine hath drowned more men than the sea. ~ Thomas Fuller

Hide our ignorance as we will, an evening of wine soon reveals it. ~ Heraclitus

Give me wine to wash me clean of the weather-stains of cares. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria. ~ Benjamin Franklin

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humor and English wine. ~ Peter Ustinov

Age is just a number. It’s totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. ~ Joan Collins

Mocking a woman is like drinking too much wine. It may be fun for a short time, but the hangover is hell. ~ Brandon Sanderson

Wine is a turncoat; first a friend and then an enemy. ~ Henry Fielding

A man can never have too much red wine, too many books, or too much ammunition. ~ Rudyard Kipling

I will drink milk when cows eat grape. ~ Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec

Men are like wine – some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. ~ Pope John XXIII

I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often – but I’m well preserved. ~ Rose Kennedy

It is widely held that too much wine will dull a man’s desire. Indeed it will in a dull man. ~ John Osborne

Penicillin cures, but wine makes people happy. ~ Alexander Fleming

I spent ninety percent of my money on wine, women and song and just wasted the other ten percent. ~ Ronnie Hawkins

Always keep a bottle of Champagne in the fridge for special occasions. Sometimes, the special occasion is that you’ve got a bottle of Champagne in the fridge. ~ Hester Browne

Once we hit forty, women only have about four taste buds left: one for vodka, one for wine, one for cheese, and one for chocolate. ~ Gina Barreca

Great wine requires a mad man to grow the vine, a wise man to watch over it, a lucid poet to make it, and a lover to drink it. ~ Salvador Dali

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. ~ Sir Robert Scott Caywood

No wine can be regarded as unimportant, my friend, since the marriage at Cana. ~ Graham Greene

What wine goes with Captain Crunch? ~ George Carlin

I should say upfront that I have never been in a cellar in my life. In fact, I can see no reason why anyone should ever go into a cellar unless there is wine involved. ~ Rachel Hawkins

Life’s too short to drink cheap wine. ~ Cliff Hakim

The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious. ~ Craig Ferguson

“Never cook with a wine you wouldn’t drink,” he said. “Though I guess that presupposes that there is a wine I wouldn’t drink.” ~ Lev Grossman

White wine is like electricity. Red wine looks and tastes like a liquified beefsteak. ~ James Joyce

If this was the best wine that Jim and Nora could afford or, worse, if this was their idea of a good wine – well, sadly, then they were better off dead. ~ Dean Koontz

Funny Quotes About Wine

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