Funny Food Quotes And Sayings

Here at LaffGaff, we’re definitely food lovers. And if you can’t eat food, the next best thing is to talk about it!

And so here’s a collection of funny food quotes to whet your appetite. Bon appetit! If you like the taste of them, be sure to check out our funny food jokes too!

A delicious selection of funny food quotes

Funny Quotes About Food

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.

Charles. M. Schultz

Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron.

Glenn Beck

I’ll bet what motivated the British to colonize so much of the world is that they were just looking for a decent meal.

Martha Harrison

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

Erma Bombeck

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Fran Lebowitz

Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal.

Jay Leno
Jo Brand quote about chocolate

Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate.

Jo Brand

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

Doug Larson

The pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham and bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I call it stupid of the pig.

Ogden Nash

You have just dined, and however scrupulously the slaughterhouse is concealed in the graceful distance of miles, there is complicity.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have eaten octopus – or squid, I can never quite tell the difference – but never with wholehearted enjoyment on account of not caring for the taste of hot India rubber.

Noel Coward
Funny food quotes - Johnathan Swift

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

Johnathan Swift

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you’re hungry again.

George Miller

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch.

Orson Welles

There is no love sincerer than the love of food.

George Bernard Shaw

The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating.

John Walters

When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, “Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.”

Yogi Berra

Parsely, Is gharsely.

Ogden Nash

Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks.

Marilyn Wann

My doctor told me I had to stop throwing intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.

Orson Welles
Funny quote about food from W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

W. C. Fields

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.

Ernestine Ulmer

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin.

Mark Twain

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won’t, and that’s a wife who can’t cook and will.

Robert Frost

Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.

Samuel Johnson

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

Calvin Trillin

I like rice. Rice is great if you’re hungry and want two thousand of something to eat.

Mitch Hedberg

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.

Oscar Wilde

Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat – that’s bad for you!

Tom Smothers

Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn’t illegal.


A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Barbara Johnson

Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.

Sophia Loren

The only time to eat diet food is while you’re waiting for the steak to cook.

Julia Child

It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

Lewis Grizzard

We all eat, and it would be a sad waste of opportunity to eat badly.

Anna Thomas
Funny Miss Piggy quote about eating

Never eat more than you can lift.

Miss Piggy

Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie.

Jim Davis

Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It’s made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!

Roald Dahl

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken.

Johnathan Swift

People who love to eat are always the best people.

Julia Child

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart.

Erma Bombeck

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter.

Fran Lebowitz

More Funny Quotes

If our funny food quotes haven’t sated your cravings, why not try a taste of the rest of our funny quotes too, like these for example: