Albert Einstein Jokes And Puns

In theory you don’t have to be a genius to find these funny Einstein jokes and puns relatively amusing! So we thought it was about time we found space for them!

Header image for a page of funny Albert Einstein jokes and puns..

Funny Einstein Jokes

I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person!

All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist!

I can’t believe it’s been more than a hundred years since Einstein proposed his Theory of Relativity.

It feels like only yesterday.

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius…

But his brother Frank was a monster.

Einstein to his Dad: Dad, my paper on The Theory of Relativity just got published.

Dad: Nice, son. It is about time.

What was the name of Einstein’s little brother?

Zweistein!

I finally understood Einstein’s theory of relativity.

It was about time.

One day, Einstein has to speak at an important science conference.

On the way there, he tells his driver that looks a bit like him:

“I’m sick of all these conferences. I always say the same things over and over!”

The driver agrees: “You’re right. As your driver, I attended all of them, and even though I don’t know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”

“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!”

So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.

But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond.

So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.

The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :

“Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver reply to it for me.”

Today I learned that Einstein married his cousin Elsa.

Even his marriage was relative.

What did Einstein drink as a baby?

Formula.

Einstein, Newton and Pascal are playing hide and seek.

Einstein is counting.

Pascal runs and hides, but Newton just draws a square and sit down.

Einstein opens his eyes and exclaims, “Newton, I’ve found you!”

Newton replies, “No, you found Newton over a square meter. You’ve found Pascal!”

Einstein developed a theory about space.

And it was about time too.

Did you know that Einstein invented a new way to swim?

It was a stroke of genius.

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein’s office shouting…

“Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!”

Einstein rolls his eyes, “It’s about time!”

If Einstein hadn’t come up with the Theory of Relativity, someone else would have.

It was only a matter of time.

I finally won an ongoing argument with my wife about Einstein’s Theory of Relativity.

It was about time.

What did Einstein say when his student touched his watch strap?

“Don’t mess with the fabric of time!”

Why did Einstein throw his father’s clock out the window?

He wanted to see relative time.

Why was Einstein kicked out of the kitchen?

Because of his incessant experiments on the effect of gravity on thyme.

Albert Einstein once said that time is relative.

I don’t remember anyone in my family named Time.

A man asks a professor, “Do you think Einstein’s theory was good?”

The professor replies, “Relatively.”

How did Albert Einstein die?

He had a stroke of genius.

Why did Einstein invite time to his wedding?

Because time was relative.

Why doesn’t Einstein chew gum?

He only uses experimints.

I wanted to buy a book on Albert Einstein’s theories but it was on the top shelf.

It’s information that’s way over my head.

Albert Einstein challenged Mr. Bean.

Einstein said to Mr. Bean: “I’ll ask you a question. If you can’t answer correctly, you’ll give me one dollar. Then you ask me a question. If I can’t answer correctly, I’ll give you 1000 dollars.”

Einstein: Asks a question.

Mr. Bean after a little while: gives Einstein one dollar.

Einstein says: Okay, it’s your turn.

Mr. Bean asks: What’s an animal that has four legs, but when it’s crossing a street, it has three legs and when it’s on the other side of the street, it has only two?

Einstein: Thinks hard for a while.

Einstein says: I give up.

Gives 1000 dollars to Mr. Bean.

Einstein asks: What is it?

Mr. Bean: Gives a dollar to Einstein.

Einstein dies and goes to heaven.

At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?”

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?”

Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear.

Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity.

Saint Peter is suitably impressed. “You really ARE Einstein!” he says. “Welcome to heaven!”

The next to arrive is Picasso.

Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials.

Picasso asks, “Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?”

Saint Peter says, “Go ahead.”

Picasso erases Einstein’s equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk.

Saint Peter claps. “Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!” he says. “Come on in!”

Then Saint Peter looks up and sees Donald Trump.

Saint Peter scratches his head and says, “Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?”

Trump looks bewildered and says, “Who are Einstein and Picasso?”

Saint Peter sighs and says, “Come on in, Donald.”

A bar walks into Albert Einstein.

Oops, wrong frame of reference.

Einstein is on a train leaving New York.

He leans over to another passenger and asks, “Excuse me, do you know if Boston stops at this train?”

Not to brag, but I consider myself as a mix between Rambo and Einstein…

I have Rambo’s intelligence and Einstein’s muscles.

Einstein and his wife are going through a tough time in their marriage.

Einstein: Tell me what you need, I’m here to help.

Wife: I just need two things right now, some space and time.

Einstein: Ok, so what’s the second thing?

What was Albert Einstein’s DJ name?

MC Squared.

I believe autocorrect was invented by history’s most famous scientist.

Albeit Einstein would disagree.

What do Einstein and an iceberg with a lisp have in common?

They both tried to think the unthinkable.

Marie Curie was a brilliant physicist but Einstein was exponentially smarter than her.

E = M.C.²

Albert Einstein walked into a bar at 99 percent the speed of light.

The bartender said, “Why the short face?”

I never understood why being called an Einstein is bad.

It’s only relatively insulting.

So they finally proved the last part of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity.

It’s about time.

Einstein says that anything with mass can’t go faster than the speed of light, but…

What if you aren’t Catholic?

Einstein Jokes

If you enjoyed these funny puns and jokes about Einstein, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: