Funny Time Travel Jokes

If you could time travel, what time and place in history would you travel to? Here at LaffGaff, we’d go back and see all the great comedians from the past in action! Whatever your choice, enjoy these funny time travel jokes!

Header image for a page of funny time travel jokes and time machine jokes.

Hilarious Time Travel Jokes & Puns

I used to be addicted to time travel.

But that’s all in the past now.

I had a joke about time travel but you guys didn’t like it.

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve time travelers here.”

A time traveler walks into a bar.

An overweight time traveler goes to ancient Rome but when he gets there he realizes he wore historically incorrect clothes for the trip.

So he visits a toga shop to purchase new clothes. He looks around the shop and realizes they do not have togas big enough to fit him. He goes to the counter and asks the clerk, “Do you have XL togas?”

The clerk replies, “Well, yes. But why do you need so many?”

The punchline comes before the question.

What’s the worst part about time travelling jokes?

What does a time traveler do when he’s hungry?

He goes back 4 seconds.

Funny Time Machine Jokes

When I was a little boy, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason.

Now at last I’ve managed to invent a time machine of my own, so I’m going to go back to when he was a little boy so I can punch him and see how he likes it.

If I had a DeLorean…

I’d probably only drive it from time to time.

I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday.

They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.

I was thinking about the first time machine I ever built.

Ahhh, it takes me back.

To get to the time machine.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

If time is money…

Then is an ATM a time machine?

Did you hear that Disney+ is making a crossover between Star Wars and Back to the Future where the time machine is half car and half person?

It’s called the Man-DeLorean.

My time machine broke, so I took it to the time machine repairman.

He just walked up to it, kicked it and said, “They sure don’t make them like they will do soon.”

What’s the best thing about building a time machine for a school project?

You can take as long as you want and still get it in by the due date.

A procrastinator built a time machine.

Well, not yet, but he’s planning on getting started last week.

I have a time machine for sale.

If interested, call me two weeks ago.

What do we want?

A time machine!

When do we want it?

It doesn’t matter.

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed these funny time travel jokes and time machine jokes, be sure to check out all our other funny science jokes too, including these:

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