We thought it would be gneiss to bring you these funny geology jokes and puns because they rock! We hope you appreciate the sediment!
Funny Geology Jokes
Geology rocks but geography is where it’s at.
When Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history…
Is it called genealogy or geology?
A miner and a chemist walk into a geology convention.
They approach a table displaying a wide assortment of rocks.
The chemist points in the booth’s direction and asks the miner, “Which is your favorite; cinnabar or cassiterite?”
The miner thought for a moment and replied, “Either ore.”
While in college I got degrees in geology and astronomy.
I’m trying to become a rock star.
I used to be embarrassed by my geology fetish.
I started off stroking gravel but now I’m feeling a little boulder.
How does the geology student say goodnight to his grandma?
Grannite.
I’m thinking of switching my major to geology.
I think I’d do well because I keep discovering a new rock bottom.
Dr. Holmes, after many years of biotechnological research, finally succeeded in his secret project, using funds diverted from his research grant.
Because the project needed to be kept off the records, Dr. Holmes kept the deer at home.
The cyborg would grow and develop just as a normal fawn would, but it would have the mental capacity of a human being.
Dr. Holmes instantly took a liking to the young deer, who he considered to be the son he had never had.
He nurtured it tenderly and provided the fawn with all he desired.
Once the deer had begun to mature, Dr. Holmes decided it was time to begin homeschooling the young buck.
He taught him to read, write, and speak.
Next, he taught him basic arithmetic.
Of course, Dr. Holmes decided to teach him science as well.
They started with geology.
Unlike the other subjects, the deer struggled from the get-go, failing to grasp any of the basic concepts.
One day, the doctor announced a pop quiz.
He would hold up a picture of a rock, and the deer would have to identify it.
The first rock was a light tan rock.
“Is it an igneous rock?” asked the young buck.
The doctor shook his head.
“Hmm, metamorphic?” the deer tried again.
The doctor shook his head once more.
Dr. Holmes then looked at his creation, sighed, and said disappointedly, “It’s sedimentary, my deer bot son.”
Lava is the hipster of the geology community.
It knew how to rock before it was cool.
All the geology majors at my university smoke a lot weed.
I guess you could say that they’re all a bunch of stoners.
My favourite geology professor died today.
My sediments are with his family.
I met my wife while we were working at the same museum.
Our first date was in the geology section, the second in paleontology, and the rest was history.
I’m in a really boring geology class.
I dust can’t sand it.
Two geologists are organizing rocks they found out in the world.
They put down the 67th: granite.
Then the 68th: obsidian.
Then they come to the 69th.
“What is it?” the first geologist asks.
The other replies, “Gneiss.”
The archaeologist had majored in geology in college…
But he was also a history miner.
What’s the hardest subject on Earth?
Geology.
Students are excited to attend the geology class at the local school.
They say it totally rocks.
Do you want to hear a geology joke?
I don’t give a schist.
Some people hate geology jokes…
But I think they’re pretty gneiss.
Most of my geology jokes sink like rocks…
But sometimes I come up with a gem.
Are geology jokes allowed?
Because if they are I’ve got some pretty gneiss ones but most them are schist. If so, I won’t take this opportunity for granite.
What geological feature has the deepest sense of humor?
Sarchasm.
What’s the difference between philosophy and eyeballing a picture of a rock?
One’s ideology, the other’s eyed-geology.
My partners in the geology lab were upset about not sharing my earthquake data.
It’s completely my fault though.
Sure geology rocks…
But aviation is really fly.
What do you call a rock enthusiast’s favorite hard candy?
Geology ranchers.
What’s your geologist dad’s favorite candy?
Pop Rocks.
So Black Friday at the Geology Museum was great!
There were so many great shales.
I asked my friend who is a major in geology, what is the most expensive rock in the world?
He replied, “Dwayne Johnson.”
I really like rock puns.
They’re something we shouldn’t take for granite. I mean, they are pretty solid.
Let’s just face it, geology rocks!
PS: I just hit rock bottom, didn’t I?
I just got out of my geology class.
We studied metamorphic rocks which was gneiss.
I demanded a refund for my geology course.
It was very surface level.
My wife has only one problem: she can’t tell the difference between geology and geography.
Either way, she can still rock my world.
I think geology is the most important field in science.
Sure, it has its faults, but on the hole, it’s ground-breaking.
A former student of a geology professor at a major university returned one day to give the professor a gift of a unique soil sample he had collected from a river while on a trip.
To which the professor replied, “I appreciate the sediment.”
What did the pebbles say when they got clumped together?
I feel boulder!
What do geological plates and dinner plates have in common?
They’re both pieces of China.
I find geologists make really good friends.
They are very down to Earth.
Welcome to the Geology Department.
Have a gneiss day!
What do geologists say to one another when they’re leaving?
Bye, have a gneiss day.
More Funny Jokes
If you thought these hilarious puns and jokes about geology rocked, then check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:
