Funny Nerd Jokes

Nerdy jokes (or should that be dorky or geeky?) are some of the funniest in our opinion so we’ve put together our top funny nerd jokes.

You’ll have to be a little bit of a nerd to truly understand them, but if you are then you’ll find them hilarious…

A collection of funny nerd jokes and humor

Ten Hilariously Funny Nerd Jokes

Even More Funny Nerd Jokes!

As a bonus for loyal LaffGaff readers, here are some more really funny nerd jokes:

A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, “We got him!”

What is a cation afraid of?


Heisenberg is pulled over by a cop who asks him, “Do you know how fast you were going?”

Heisenberg replies, “No, but I know where I am.”

A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says, “I’m sorry, we don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.”

The Higgs Boson says, “But how can you have mass without me?”

Where does bad light end up?

In prism.

A logician’s wife is having a baby. Straight after the birth the doctor hands the baby to the father. The wife asks impatiently, “Is it a boy or a girl?”

The logician replies, “Yes.”

Why do engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas?

Because Oct 31 = Dec 25

Why did the bear dissolve in water?

It was polar.

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, “I’ll have some H20.”

The second one says, “I’ll have some H20 too.”

The second one dies.

Why does a burger have less energy than a steak?

A burger is in its ground state.

Schrodinger gets pulled over by a cop. The cop searches the trunk and says, “Do you know there’s a dead cat in here?”

Schrodinger says, “Well I do now!”

My friend Power has been stressed all week. His boss keeps making him work overtime.


If you’re not part of the solution…

You’re part of the precipitate.

Why did I divide Sin by Tan?

Just Cos.

Why can’t you trust atoms?

They make up everything.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Two – one to hold the light bulb and one to rotate the universe.

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a martinus.

“Don’t you mean a martini?” asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, “If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!”

There are only two hard things in computer science – cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.

Entropy isn’t what it used to.

What do you call an educated tube?

A graduated cylinder.

A Buddhist monk goes up to a hot dog stand and says to the vendor, “Make me one with everything.

Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Do all of you want a drink?”

The first logician says, “I don’t know.”

The second logician says, “I don’t know.”

The third logician says, “Yes.”

Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero?

He’s 0k now.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

How do you know the moon is going broke?

It’s down to its last quarter.

Have you heard about the sick chemist?

If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, you’ll probably have to barium.

What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?


C, E flat and G walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”

What is a physicist’s favorite food?

Fission chips.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but really mean your mother.

What do you call two crows on a branch?

Attempted murder.

My teacher said to me, “Name two pronouns.”

I said, “Who, me?”

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A fish.

Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar and doesn’t.

Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea?

Because all proper tea is theft.

Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a drink?

Descartes says, “I think not” and then he disappears.

The first rule of tautology club is the first rule of tautology club.

There are two kittens on a sloped roof. Which one slides of first?

The one with the lowest mew.

Jokes For Nerds

If you enjoyed reading our selection of funny nerd jokes then you’ll love the rest of LaffGaff where we have lots more funny jokes, such as these:

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