Periodic Table Jokes And Puns

You’re sure to feel a certain chemistry with this funny periodic table jokes and puns! At least from time to time anyway!

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Funny Periodic Table Jokes

A man recently died when a periodic table display fell on him.

The official cause of death was “Exposure to the elements”.

16 Sodium atoms walk into a bar…

Followed by Batman.

Do you know any jokes about Sodium?


When Gold was kicked out of the periodic table…

The other elements said, “Au revoir.”

A world renowned chemist dies.

His will states that he wishes for all of his favorite elements from the periodic table be included with his body.

They go to his wife and ask, “Are we really going to put a bunch of elements in his casket?”

To which she replies, “No, just Barium.”

Periodic table jokes are the best….

But only when I’m in my element.

If your classmate gets poisoned in the lab, first you should try to Curium.

If that doesn’t work, then you’ll have to Barium.

My favorite element in the periodic table is ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQSTUVWXYZ.

Or, as it’s also known, R gone.

I don’t hate all of the periodic table.

Just elements of it.

What’s another name for the periodic table of elements?

The atoms family.

Two men walk into a chemistry bar.

The first man says to the bartender, “I would like a glass of H2O.”

The second man says, “I would like some H2O too.”

The second man dies.

I auditioned for a musical about the periodic table.

I got the lead role.

I was going to make a joke about the periodic table but …

Neon Vanadium Erbium Molybdenum Iodine Neodymium.

I’d tell you a good periodic table joke, but all the good ones Argon.

You want me to tell you a joke about Potassium? K.

Helium walks into a bar.

The bar tender says, “We don’t serve noble gasses in here.”

Helium doesn’t react.

Where does the periodic table go on Sundays?


If I ever discover a new element, it’s symbol will be “Ah”.

It will be the element of surprise.

A thief thought it would be funny to steal Si from the periodic table.

It was a silly con.

What is Michael Jackson’s Favorite element in the periodic table?

He Helium.

Have you heard about that joke about oxygen and magnesium? No? OMg!

BREAKING NEWS: Scientists launch sneak attack on the periodic table…

Add the element of surprise.

Iron Man is FeMale.

Refer to the periodic table of elements with questions.

My Dad spent all weekend making a coffee table.

I didn’t think much of it until i saw him attaching some hoses, a water tank, a dirt tank, a fan, a propane tank and a timer.

I asked him what the heck he was building and he said, “Well twice a day it’s going to shoot either fire, water, dirt or air.”

I sat there stunned and confused and just said, “But… why?”

He said, “Why? Well that’s because it’s a periodic table of elements.”

What do you call a tricky woman whose initials are P.B.?

Miss Lead.

I spent the weekend learning the periodic table.

You might say I was really in my element.

My chemist wife refurnishes the dining room quite often.

She favors periodic tables over more permanent ones.

How do you get a gold bar’s attention?


What’s a pirate’s favorite element?


“Bro who’s periodic table is this?”


Where does the chemist occasionally have dinner?

The periodic table.

My child was setting up a science homework project on the dinner table.

I swiped the table clean and threw the table outside.

He asked, “What was that for?”

I said, “It’s a periodic table. You can’t use it right now.”

I gave my students a periodic table test out of the blue.

They all got poor marks.

I was so disappointed.

I thought we’d mastered the element of surprise.

What is Santa’s favorite element in the periodic table?

Ho Ho Ho.

Why do scientists eat lunch at separate times?

Because they only have a periodic table.

I failed my test which involved memorising every element in the periodic table as there was one I forgot.

I came so close yet Sulphur.

How do two scientists break the ice?

One of them says, “U and I are on the periodic table.”

I don’t want to hear your periodic table jokes.


I put an Atlanta hat on my periodic table.

I’m not afraid to brave the elements.

In chemistry class the experiment called for 36 grams of the 83rd element on the periodic table.

I could see that the girl next to me had weighed out 42 grams.

When I told her she was getting a bit heavy she said….

I should mind my own Bismuth.

Which element of the periodic table is the poorest?


Why do chemists call Helium, Curium and Barium the medical elements?

Because if you cant “helium” or “curium” you ” barium”.

The chemistry department cafeteria has good food, but finding a place to sit can be a challenge.

They only have periodic tables.

What do you call a table with dots all over it?

The periodic table.

What’s a weeb’s favorite element on the periodic table?


Jokes About The Periodic Table

If you enjoyed these funny puns and jokes about the periodic table, be sure to sample the rest of LaffGaff for lots more hilarious jokes, such as these:

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