Funny Christmas jokes are an essential part of the festive season. As are toe-curlingly bad Christmas cracker jokes too, of course. Christmas dinner just wouldn’t be the same without them.
So here is our collection of funny Christmas jokes for kids.
Funny Christmas Jokes For Kids
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
What happened to the man who stole an Advent calendar.
He got 25 days.
Who hides in a bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy.
How did Mary and Joseph know how heavy Jesus was when he was born?
They had a weigh in a manger.
Who beats his chest and swings from Christmas cake to Christmas cake?
Tarzipan.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas party?
Because he had no body to go with.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive the other reindeer.
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis.
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
Rude-olph.
How do fish celebrate Christmas?
They hang reefs on the door.
What do you use to drain your Christmas Brussels sprouts?
An Advent colander.
What do lions sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells.
What’s the difference between snowmen and snowladies?
Snowballs.
What’s the best Christmas present?
A broken drum – you just can’t beat it.
What do snowmen like to do at the weekend?
Chill out.
What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow.
What athlete is the warmest at Christmas?
A long jumper.
What do you call a singing elf?
A wrapper.
How do snowmen get around?
By icicle.
What part of the body do you only see at Christmas?
Mistle-toe.
What do angry mice send each other at Christmas?
Cross mouse cards.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Murray.
Murray who?
Murray Christmas!
What do elves do after school?
Their gnome work.
Two snowmen stood next to each other.
The first one says, “Can you smell carrots?”
What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What do vampires sing on New Year’s Eve?
Auld Fang Syne.
What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle smells.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Dexter.
Dexter who?
Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars?
Because their days are numbered.
What’s the most popular Christmas wine?
I don’t like Brussels sprouts.
Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did Adam say to his wife the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
What’s green, covered in tinsel and goes, “Ribbet, ribbet”?
Mistle-toad.
What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?
Get out of my face.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert?
O Camel Ye Faithful.
What do you call a snowman on roller blades?
A snowmobile.
What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?
It’s been nice gnawing you.
What cereal do snowmen have for breakfast?
Frosties.
What’s white and goes up?
A confused snowflake.
Where do the three wise men to get their robes tailored?
Bethle-hem.
What’s a mathematician’s favorite Christmas snack?
Mince Pi.
Did Rudolph the red nosed reindeer go to school?
No, he was elf-taught.
What’s a dog’s favorite Christmas carol?
Bark, The Herald Angels Sing.
What did the snowflake say to the fallen leaf?
You’re so last season.
Why is a foot a good Christmas present?
Because it makes a good stocking filler.
What’s a snowman’s favorite lunch?
An ice-burger.
Why was the manger so crowded on Christmas Eve?
Because of the three wide men.
Where do they make movies about Christmas trees?
In Tinsel Town.
How do you decorate a canoe for Christmas?
With oar-naments.
More Christmas Humor
If you enjoyed our collection of funny Christmas jokes for kids, why not check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes and laughs, including our other pages of Christmas jokes and Christmas fun:
- Christmas Cracker Jokes.
- Christmas Knock Knock Jokes.
- Christmas Movie Trivia Questions.
- Christmas One Liners.
- Christmas Riddles For Kids.
- Christmas Trivia Questions For Adults.
- Christmas Trivia Questions For Kids.
- Cryptic Christmas Carol Riddles.
- Cryptic Christmas Movie Riddles.
- December Jokes.
- Dirty Christmas Jokes For Adults.
- Elf Jokes.
- Family Christmas Quiz.
- Funny Christmas Quotes And Sayings.
- Funny Christmas Riddles.
- New Year Jokes.
- Reindeer Jokes.
- Santa Claus Jokes.
- Snowman Jokes.
