Carrot Jokes

You probably don’t carrot all but just in case you do, here’s a great collection of funny carrot jokes and puns! Pull a seat up to the vege-table and enjoy them!

Header image for a page of funny carrot jokes and puns.

Funny Carrot Jokes And Puns

What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

A family of carrots, Mama Carrot, Daddy Carrot, and Baby Carrot, were walking down a road when a truck swerved and hit Baby Carrot.

Daddy Carrot immediately called an ambulance and Baby Carrot was rushed to the hospital.

As Mama Carrot and Daddy Carrot waited in anticipation, they watched as the doctors and nurses rushed to save Baby Carrot’s life. They watched as Baby Carrot was carted away into surgery .

After waiting for hours, a doctor came to find Mama and Daddy Carrot. The Carrot parents nervously awaited for the doctor to tell them the conditions of their child.

The doctor said, “I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that Baby Carrot is going to live. We were able to save him.”

Through grateful tears Mama Carrot says, “That’s wonderful but what is the bad news?”

“Well, he’ll be a vegetable the rest of his life,” replied the doctor.

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

“Do you smell carrots?”

The amount of cabbage is directly proportional to the square root of the carrots divided by the volume of the mayo.

That’s Cole’s Law.

I couldn’t find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they’d seen it.

Apparently, she left me two days ago.

How do you make your soup golden?

Add 24 carrots.

Why was Frosty inspecting the carrots at the grocery store?

He was picking his nose.

What do you call a carrot with 4 sides?

A square root.

I have a vegan girlfriend.

She’s nice and all, but sometimes I think she just looks at me like a piece of carrot.

What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?

Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.

You need to stop talking to me about vegetables.

I just don’t carrot all.

Carrots may be good for your eyes…

But whiskey will double your vision.

I called the police to remove some carrots from my fridge…

They were disturbing the peas.

A doctor walked into an exam room to see a patient with carrots sticking out his ears and broccoli up his nose.

The doctor said, “I can tell right away that you haven’t been eating properly.”

Since pirates are on the water all the time, meat is scare and some are actually vegetarians.

They are called Pirates of the Carrot Bean.

What’s invisible and smells like carrots?

Rabbit farts.

What do you call an emo carrot?

An edgetable.

Lately, I’ve grown increasingly apathetic towards eating vegetables.

Some days, I just don’t carrot all.

A carrot, some corn and a cucumber fell into the ocean.

Now they’re all C foods.

Where do carrots eat their dinner?

At the vege-table.

What do you call the carrot on a snowman’s corpse?

No-body nose.

What do you call a carrot that talks back to you?

A fresh vegetable.

“For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” – Newton’s Law

“Shredded cabbage and carrot make a great salad.” – Cole’s Law

A mathematician and his partner go to a restaurant one Sunday lunchtime. The waiter comes over and takes the mathematician’s order.

“I’d like one chicken breast, 10 roast potatoes, 100 baby carrots and 1,000 peas, please,” he requests.

“Why sir!” Exclaimed the waiter. “That’s an order of magnitude!”

More Funny Jokes

If you enjoyed our funny carrot jokes and puns, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes such as these:

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