Funny Easter Jokes For Adults
Easter's not just for kids! Adults can enjoy it too. Ok we may not get loads of Easter eggs from the Easter bunny or to go on egg hunts but we do get to enjoy this selection of funny Easter jokes for adults...
Please be aware that while these are very funny Easter jokes, they're only suitable for adults and not for children.
If you're looking for funny Easter jokes for kids, click here.
It might take me a while to get hard cause I just got laid by some chick.
You only need one nail to hang up the picture of Jesus.
You only get laid once.
He's born, I get presents. He dies, I get chocolate.
I'm sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven't hidden.
He said, "Have to love Easter, baby."
They get to hide their own eggs.
It's brilliant, because if you're in a relationship, you can get one each for you and your partner, and if you're a single woman, you can have both and try to eat away the loneliness.
Then I remember Jesus got crucified, so his decision making skills obviously weren't brilliant.
Replace the t with an i.
I can't help but feel there is a massive gap in information somewhere.
That was some New Year's party.
Minutes later, the rooster walks in. He spots the colored eggs, then storms out and beats up the peacock.
"Don't touch my Easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday."
"Peter, I need to see you."
Peter tried to get to the cross but the Roman soldiers fought him back.
Jesus again said, "Peter, please come here. I want to tell you something."
Again Peter tries to fight his way through the guards but once again they stop him.
One more time, Jesus says, "Peter, please, I need to tell you something.
This time, Peter musters up all of his strength, manages to get past the guards, goes up to the cross and says, "Yes my Lord, what do you want to tell me."
Jesus replies, "I can see your house from up here."
Jesus turns to Moses and asks, "Didn't you do something with water once?" and Moses says yeah, and proceeds to do the trick where he parts the waters.
Jesus is impressed, and Moses in turn asks, "Didn't you also do something with water?"
Jesus says, "Yeah watch this" and proceeds to step out onto the water, but he sinks almost immediately to his knees. He gets out, gets a running start, and tries again, this time sinking to his waist. He comes out confused and embarrassed and Moses asks, "What was it you were trying to do?"
"I used to be able to walk on water," Jesus replies.
"The last time you tried it," Moses asks, "Did you have those holes in your feet?"
So this little lady walks up with a big rock and smashes it down on the poor woman and splits her head wide open.
Then the little lady dusts off her hands and starts walking away. Jesus shakes his head and says, "Mom, sometimes you really get on my nerves."
Funny Easter Jokes For Adults
Or if one liners are your thing, check out our selection hilarious one liner jokes.
And we also have a huge collection of other holiday jokes, including these: