Tonsillectomy Jokes

Tonsillectomy is one of the most commonly performed surgeries, but there’s nothing common about these hilarious tonsillectomy jokes! Enjoy them!

Header image for a page of funny tonsillectomy jokes and puns.

Funny Tonsillectomy Jokes & Puns

A man has a sore throat and goes to see the doctor.

The doctor says, “I’m sorry but you need a tonsillectomy.”

The man says, “I want a second opinion!”

The doctor replies, “Okay, I don’t like your haircut.”

During my tonsillectomy, the doctor accidentally cut my vocal chords.

I can’t say how angry I am!

A mother takes her four-year-old to the hospital to have his tonsils removed.

She asks the the doctor if he could also perform a circumcision while the boy’s under and the doctor agrees.

When the boy returns to kindergarten, a classmate tells him that he is also going to get his tonsils removed.

The four-year-old tells his friend, “They’re not where you think they are.”

I went in for a tonsillectomy last week but the surgeon did a frontal lobectomy instead.

I complained.

Really gave ’em a piece of my mind!

I was arrested for allowing Gordon Sumner to perform my tonsillectomy.

Turns out The Police were running a Sting operation.

Why was the tonsil excited?

She heard the doctor was going to take her out.

I had the toughest time of my life. First, I got angina pectoris and then arteriosclerosis. Just as I was recovering from these, I got tuberculosis, double pneumonia and phthisis.

Then they gave me hypodermics. Appendicitis was followed by tonsillectomy. These gave way to aphasia and hypertrophic cirrhosis. I completely lost my memory for a while. I know I had diabetes and acute ingestion, besides gastritis, rheumatism, lumbago and neuritis…

I don’t know how I pulled through it. It was the hardest spelling test I’ve ever had.

Two young boys are waiting for their surgery.

The first asks, “What operation are you having done?”

The second replies, “Getting my tonsils out, what about you?”

“Circumcision.”

“Oh, that’s bad. I had that done when I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year!”

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?

Tinsellitis.

What do you call your tonsils after a tonsillecctomy?

Gonsils.

What did the boy say to his mother after getting his tonsils removed?

“Look Mom, no glands.”

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade?

She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift.

A young woman is in the hospital for an operation.

She says, “Doc, how long after my operation will I have to wait until I can resume a normal love life again?”

He says, “You know, Miss, you’re the first person who ever asked me that before a tonsillectomy.”

I took a photo of my gross tonsillitis and showed my parents.

My Mom said, “Oh gross! You better not put that on Facebook!”

My Dad said, “Of course he’s not going to do that, it’s Facebook, not Throatbook.”

More Funny Jokes

If you laughed at these tonsillectomy jokes, why not check out our other funny jokes too, such as these: