Rev yourself up for our funny motorcycle jokes. Out on the highway, with the wind in your hair. What could be better? Well if you were on a motorbike it’d be better!
There’s plenty of laughs to be had about bikes and bikers, so please enjoy our collection of funny motorcycle jokes…
It does always terrify the other people in the post office though.
Of course, they get stopped by a cop who says to them, “This motorcycle is only licensed to carry two people, and there are three of you. One of you will have to get off and walk.”
“Three of us?” says Paddy as he turns to Mick. “Jeez, what happened to Rory and Niall?”
They’ve both got pricks on the back.
“It’s your own fault,” she said. “You’re the one that left it in the shed.”
But the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. He was worried that something may be wrong but he was still too weak from the surgery to do anything. Eventually, he managed to pull his hospital gown down enough to check what was causing the discomfort. When he looked down at his chest he saw three wide strips of ultra-adhesive tape stuck firmly to him. Written on it in large black letters was the message:
“Get well soon… from the nurse you gave the ticket to last week. I’ll be round to remove the tape later.”
There was a guy on a motorcycle behind me and he was waving too.
I was getting so wound up and frustrated. “It’s people like you that cause accidents!” I shouted.
Eventually, I just couldn’t take any more so I looked around to make sure the coast was clear…
… and then I jumped off the carousel.
The door is opened by a big hairy biker with a beard, who’s covered in tattoos.
“I’d liked to join your club,” says the little old lady.
The biker is amused by this and decides to play along, telling her, “Ok, but you’ve got to meet the requirements first. Do you have a bike?”
The little old lady points to a Harley and says, “Yeah, that’s my bike there.”
The biker is surprised but says, “And do you smoke?”
The little old lady says, “Yeah, I smoke 20 cigarettes a day, and when I’m shooting pool I’ll smoke a few cigars too.”
The biker is impressed and says, “And have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?”
The little old lady says, “No, but I’ve been swung around by the nipples a few times.”
The position of the dirt bag.
The doctor tells the guy to pull down his pants and bend over. As he does so, the guy farts and sure enough, it sounds just like a Honda motorbike.
The doctor immediately says to the guy, “I know the problem – you’ve got an abscess up your arse.”
The guy says, “What?! Surely an abscess can’t make my farts sound like that?”
The doctor says, “Didn’t you know? Abscess makes the fart go Honda!”
The nut that connects the seat to the handlebar.
Eventually, after 20 minutes of trying, I gave in and stopped my motorbike on the hard shoulder.
He’s the one on a motorbike.
I said, “A cigarette? You’re going to kill yourself!”
He said, “No I won’t, I only smoke 10 a day.”
Especially when I use my motorcycle.
I went to visit him in the hospital and he said to me;
Did… n… wu….
I… din… war… yu…”
I said to him, “You can’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Funny Motorcycle Jokes
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