We thought it was worth a shot to bring you these funny vaccine jokes and puns! We think they’re sure to go viral!
Funny Vaccine Jokes
I told my wife I’ll never vaccinate our kids.
She freaked out and shouted “What?! Why?!”
I told her, “I would rather have a doctor do that.”
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
My girlfriend got the COVID vaccine and it seems like the main side effect is…
That she can’t stop talking about getting the COVID vaccine.
My dad got his Covid vaccine in his leg.
His Pfizer killing him.
I want to tell a vaccine joke.
But some won’t get it.
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
I heard they are calling that Johnson and Johnson vaccine “8 mile”.
Because you only get one shot.
The Covid-19 vaccines should be tested on politicians first.
If they survive, the vaccines are safe.
If they don’t, the country is safe.
Eminem isn’t allowed to get the full COVID vaccine.
He only gets one shot.
I’ve never made jokes about anti-vaccination people.
But I am thinking of giving them a shot.
Those who think the COVID-19 vaccine will modify their DNA…
Should see it as an opportunity.
Why do anti-vaxxers hate vaccine jokes?
They never get them.
The anti-vaccine movement is really trying to go viral.
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a Covid vaccine …
Then Soviet.
Quick PSA: I had the Russian Covid-19 vaccination yesterday and can tell you there are absolutely no negative sideffski efectovskii.
Why do vaccinated kids hate jokes about measles?
They never get them.
You know what it’s called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?
Russian.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and have no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I created a vaccine for apathy,
Unfortunately no one seems interested.
My doctor asked if I wanted to test a coronavirus vaccine.
I figure it’s worth a shot.
Johnson and Johnson have announced their new vaccine.
I heard it’s going to be called No More Tiers.
You know you’re a 90s kid when…
Your vaccinations were mandatory and no one in your class got measles.
Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer’s.
Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
The Doctor asks the patient: “Does your head hurt?”
Patient: “Yes it does, doctor.”
Doctor: “Good, now are we vaccinating your child, or do I have to slap you again?”
They want us to get vaccinated so they can inject us with microchips and track us anywhere.
-Sent from my iPhone.
I have absolute proof the Covid vaccine isn’t Bill Gates’ way to control us.
My husband had the vaccination yesterday and he still hates Microsoft Teams.
Why I won’t take the Covid vaccine:
The first smallpox vaccine came out in 1796 and 100% of the recipients are dead.
Release the vaccine in vape form.
I promise you no one will ask what’s in it at that point.
My girlfriend is getting the Covid vaccine and was worried about Bill Gates tracking us.
I said don’t worry he’s already been watching us for years through the Windows.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a “doctor” who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
More Funny Jokes
If these jokes about vaccines were a real shot in the arm, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:
