Funny Call Center Jokes

Working in a call center, or any customer service environment, can be tough, dealing with customers and queries all day long all while having to maintain a professional and friendly manner. While it may not be the greatest job in the world (though no doubt some people love it), it can still have its funny side. With that in mind, here’s a collection of our favorite funny call center jokes and humor.

These funny call center jokes may ring a bell!

Best Call Center Jokes

This guy rings up an incontinence help line one day.

The woman working at the call center answers and asks him, “Hi, you’ve reached the incontinence helpline. How may I help?”

The guy replies, “Well, I’ve developed this incontinence problem. It’s really embarrassing – is all the information I tell you completely confidential?”

The call center woman replies, “Yes, of course it is. Now, please can you tell me where you’re ringing from?”

The guy says, “The waist down.”

I had to ring in sick at work today.

The guy sat next to me at the call center puked all over my chair.

This guy and his wife agree that any time they want to make love, they’ll call it a ‘phone call’ so the kids won’t know what they’re talking about.

One day, the guy tells his son to go tell his mother that he wants to make a phone call.

When he does, the mother replies, “Tell your father the network is bad today, so there’ll be no phone call.”

The son dutifully relays the message back to his father.

The guy then says to his son, “Tell your mother if there’s no network at home, I’ll go to the public phone.”

So the son goes to his mother again and tells her the message. She sends him back to his father saying, “Tell your father if he dares go to a public phone, then I’ll open a call center at home.”

I sat at work today and said, “You know what, I don’t give a damn… I don’t answer to anyone!”

And that’s how I lost my job at the call center.

I rang up a call center today and the automated message said, “All our advisors are engaged.”

Congratulations to them all. Now answer the damn phone will you.

I got sick of my boss saying to me, “Hey, we don’t pay you to sit there all day chatting away.”

So I got a job at a call center.

The best part of working at a call center is the part where you clock out.

If I got paid by the amount of stupid people I deal with at work instead of by the hour, I could retire next week.

Dear customer, I work here. NOT YOU. I’m right, you’re wrong. I obviously know what I’m talking about so can you please shut the hell up.

If I had a dollar for every time I wanted to knock a stupid caller out, I’d no longer need to work at a call center.

Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 40 minute flute solo.

James Bond is laid off and at the job center, there are only two jobs available, one in a call center and the other in a fabric coloring plant.

“Huh,” said Bond, “You expect me to talk?”

“No Mr Bond,” replied the interviewer, “I expect you to dye.”

I got a new job with the local suicide hotline.

I tried to phone in sick but they talked me out of it.

My friend works at a call center and he says that everyone’s always trying to outdo each other in how many calls they can make in a given time.

It’s got to the point where small teams have formed in different sections of the office.

It sounds weird, but who am I to judge him and his call leagues?

A blonde calls a 24/7 support call center and asks what hours they are open.

The technical support person says, “We are available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.”

The blonde stops to think. After a while she asks, “Is that Eastern or Pacific time?”

Customer Service & Call Center Humor

If you enjoyed our funny call center jokes and customer service jokes, check out the rest of LaffGaff for loads more funny jokes, including our boss jokes and our other work jokes such as these:

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