Redneck jokes are jokes about working class, rural or southern white Americans. They usually play on stereotypes of rednecks being unsophisticated and not the brightest.
With absolutely no offence intended, here's a collection of our favorite funny redneck jokes...
1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
The guy says, "I'm from England."
The bartender asks, "What th' hell you do in England?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... now just what th' hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says, "I mount animals."
The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"
Anyone else would have called it a 'teethbrush'.
They rent all the equipment - the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods; they spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred bucks?"
The other guy says, "Wow! Then it's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
Earl says to the Bubba, "Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalogue?"
Bubba replies, "Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!"
Earl says, with wide eyes, "Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one."
Bubba smiles and pats him on the back, "Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalogue, I'll get one too."
Three weeks later, Bubba asks his friend Earl, "Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalogue?"
Earl replies, "No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday!"
There are tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.
Hey y'all... Watch this!
"Well," Bubba began, "We wuz havin' a good time drinking, when my cousin Ray picked up his shotgun and said, 'Hey, der ya fellows wanna go hunting?'"
"And then what happened?" the officer interrupted.
"From what I remember," Bubba said, "I stood up and said, 'Sure, I'm game.'"
17 and under are not admitted.
There's nothing worth crapping on.
Football and construction.
They started loading their gear into the plane, including the six elk. But the pilot objected he said, "The plane can take out only four of your elk. You will have to leave two behind."
One of the hunters pushed forward, "Hey, last year our pilot let us take out six elk. It was the same model plane, same weather conditions, and everything. What's with this? We want you to allow us to fly out just like last year.
Reluctantly the pilot finally permitted them to put all six elk aboard and the men all climbed in with their gear. But when they attempted to take off and fly out of the valley, the little plane could not make it. They crashed in the wilderness.
Climbing out of the wreckage, one redneck said to the other, "Do you know where we are?"
"I think so," replied the other redneck. "Yep! I think this is about 100 yards further along than where we crashed last year!"
Kick his sister in the mouth.
This went on for years until one day the Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge across that river. John was elated; he told his wife that finally he was going to get the chance to cross over and whip Clarence.
He left the house and returned in a matter of minutes. His wife asked what was wrong, didn't he intend to go over the bridge and whip Clarence?
He replied that he never had really seen Clarence up close and didn't realize his size until he started over the bridge and saw the sign: "CLEARANCE 8 FT 3 IN"
Flush the punch bowl.
A few years down the road, the wife has grown tired of this. "Mother of six," the redneck would say, "what’s for dinner tonight? Get me a beer!" She gets very frustrated.
Finally, while attending a party with her husband, he jokingly yells out, "Mother of six, I think it's time to go!" The wife immediately shouts back, "I'll be right with you, father of four!"
The cow fell on him.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
He slaps her on the ass and tells her to get back to work.
The man gets up screaming, grabs his trousers and runs home to tell his father.
His father comforts him by saying, "Now, now. It'll be okay, son. If she wasn't good enough for her own family, then she isn't good enough for ours."
He looks over at the bartender with pride and says, "Look what I almost stepped in!"
He takes it to the highest mountain, and after struggling to the top, he gets ready to take flight. He takes off running and reaches the edge-- into the wind he goes!
Meanwhile, Maw and Paw Hicks were sittin' on the porch swing talkin bout the good ol days when maw spots the biggest bird she ever seen!
"Look at the size of that bird, Paw!" she exclaims.
Paw raises up," Git my gun, Maw."
She runs into the house, brings out his pump shotgun. He takes careful aim. BANG...BANG.....BANG.....BANG! The monster size bird continues to sail silently over the tree tops.
"I think ya missed him, Paw," she says.
"Yeah," he replies, "but at least he let go of Bubba!"
In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia, it's a misdemeanor.