We don’t have any reservations about our claims for these native American jokes and puns because no others are Apache on them! You can Sioux us if you don’t agree!
Funny Native American Jokes
Why were there native Americans in America first?
Because they had reservations.
Did you know that in ancient times, a group of native Americans tried to cross into Russia from Alaska, but failed?
They just couldn’t get their Bering Strait.
Why do native Americans hate snow?
It’s white and settles on their land.
Why was the native American bartender fired?
He kept charging $24 for a Manhattan.
A man and his family walk into a bar.
Inside of the bar, the man’s youngest child sees a native American sitting under a sign stating “World’s longest memory”.
The child walks up to sign and decides to test if this sign is true.
The child asks, “What did you have for breakfast 30 years ago?”
The Native American states, “Eggs.”
The child states that the native could have just made that up, and then later leaves the bar.
Years later, when the child returns back with his own family he sees the same native American at the bar.
Walking up to the man, he states a stereotypical, “How!”
The native American replies, “Scrambled.”
How is the best way to greet native Americans…
My native American friend’s son is going through puberty.
He has Apache beard.
Did you know “Vegetarian” is a native American word?
It means “Lousy Hunter”.
A native American man drank 500 cups of tea in one sitting.
Nearly drowned in his own teepee.
A native American shaman had an apprentice.
One day the apprentice said to his mentor, “You take long trip. I try be shaman for summer.”
The shaman asked, “Why should I take trip?”
The apprentice tried bribery. “If you take trip, I feed you belly full.”
The shaman agreed, so the apprentice gave his mentor a big meal, and the next day the shaman left on his long trip.
But the apprentice turned out to be a terrible shaman.
Within a week, the chief could not take it anymore, and left to search for the old shaman.
He found him and begged, “Please come back to tribe.”
The shaman asked, “Why should I come back?”
The chief tried bribery. “If you come back, I feed you belly full.”
The shaman agreed, so they both went back, and the chief gave the shaman a big meal.
When the apprentice saw his mentor had returned, he asked, “Why back so soon?”
The old shaman explained, “Full me once, shaman you. Full me twice, shaman me.”
Why did the native American leave the arctic?
He wasn’t Inuit.
Did you also know Michael Jackson was part native American?
He was a quarter Cherok-HEE-HEE!
My buddy works at a restaurant on a native American reservation.
He’s a Sioux chef.
A native American walks into an Old West saloon followed shortly by a bear.
The patrons freeze in fear, and the saloonkeeper points to the native American man and whispers, “There’s a bear right behind you!”
The native American man holds up a calm hand and says, “I can explain. Bear with me.”
I went on a native American archaeological dig, and all I found was some fake teeth.
They’re not museum worthy, but they were a nice Sioux veneer.
My grandmother found out she was part native American.
When she found out, she said, “How?”
The other day I was second guessing my decision to book time to visit a native American community.
It was a reservation reservation reservation.
I asked my native American wife if she’d be interested in owning some land.
She told me she had reservations.
The Fugawi were a native American tribe from the civil war era.
They are widely regarded as some of the worst trackers because they always ended up lost.
When they met others outside their tribe, they would say, “We’re the Fugawi.”
Did you know there was a native American tribe that fought exclusively with lawyers?
It was the Sioux.
What brand of modem do native Americans use?
Teepee-Link.
Native American Airlines…
Have Apache safety record.
What type of cars do missionaries think native Americans drive?
Convertibles.
A native American hitchhiker was picked up by a slick city man who was driving past the reservation.
As they were driving along, the native American noticed a brown paper bag on the dashboard and inquired as to its contents.
The city man replied: “It’s a bottle of wine, I got it for my wife.”
The native American looked forward at the road, nodded his head solemnly, and said: “Good trade.”
A native American chief had three wives, all of whom were pregnant.
The first gave birth to a boy.
The chief was so elated that he built her a teepee made of deer hide.
A few days later, the second gave birth also to a boy.
The chief was very happy so he built her a teepee made of antelope hide.
The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret.
He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide.
The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.
Many tried, unsuccessfully.
Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys.
“Correct,” said the chief. “How did you figure it out?”
The warrior answered, “It’s elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.”
A native American asked his chief about the coming winter.
“How bad will this winter be?” He asked.
“It is good to be prepared. Get some firewood ready” replied the chief.
The chief then called his friend in the national weather service to ask him, “How bad will this winter be?”
The meteorologist said, “This will be a pretty cold winter”
The chief then told his people what the meteorologist said.
A few weeks later the chief called to ask again, just to be sure.
“Well,” said the meteorologist, “It’s gonna be worse than we thought this year.”
Again the chief relayed this to his people and told them to put out more firewood.
Right before the winter came, the chief called the meteorologist once more to ask, “How bad will this winter be?”
The meteorologist said, “It’s gonna be even worse than we thought.”
The chief thanked the meteorologist and asked him, “How do you get such accurate information?”
“Well, we have teams of scientists that study patterns to predict what the weather will be like. But we found that the most reliable method is to just look at how much firewood the native Americans put out.”
So Land O’Lakes got rid of the native American on their package…
But kept the land. Sounds oddly familiar.
Why did the native American sleep in the hotel lobby?
He didn’t have a reservation.
There’s an old native American man that sits in a teepee along the road I take to work.
Every morning for a while now I stop in and ask him what the weather will be that day.
Rain, snow, sun, clouds. He’s always right.
Well yesterday I stopped in just like normal and asked what the weather was going to be like.
“Got no clue,” he said.
I was shocked. “What’s different about today that you don’t know?”
He just shook his head sadly. “Radio broke.”
I went to view a house on a native American reservation.
“I like it” I said. “Does it come with running water?”
“No,” he replied. “Get your own wife.”
Jokes About Native Americans
If you enjoyed these funny puns and jokes about native Americans, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:
