We’ve crammed so many mushroom jokes and puns into here that there’s not mushroom left! The morel of the story: we’re fun guys!
Funny Mushroom Jokes
How much room do fungi need to grow?
As mushroom as possible.
Momma always told me, “You are what you eat.”
So I started eating mushrooms every day.
I wanted to become a fun guy.
What do you get when a giant steps on a house?
What vegetables should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Don’t buy any kind of fungi. They take up too mushroom.
Why was the mushroom invited to the party?
Because he was a fungi.
But if he was such a fun guy, why wasn’t the party at his house?
Because there wasn’t mushroom.
I only added a few toppings on my pizza.
There wasn’t mushroom.
What made the mushroom forager such a good person?
He had good morels.
Why don’t fairies live under toadstools?
Because there’s not mushroom.
A mushroom walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”
The mushroom says, “Why not? I’m a fungi?”
Two leprechauns are in the forest eating mushrooms and one asks the other…
Having fun, Gus?
What kind of vehicle does a mushroom drive?
A spores car.
What are the easiest mushrooms to carry?
To save his business, my butcher is trying an experimental process where he gives his cows magic mushrooms before slaughtering them.
Let’s just say… the steaks are high.
When mushrooms use Tinder…
“I’m a fungi looking for a fungal.”
Why are mushrooms so filling?
Because once you’ve eaten them you don’t have mushroom left.
Why do toadstools grow so close together?
They don’t need mushroom.
A mushroom walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “We don’t serve mushrooms here. You’re always ruining jokes.”
The mushroom says, “Come on. I’m a fun person.”
What did the claustrophobic fungi say to his friends?
There’s not mushroom in here.
A woman tells her friend she is getting married for the fourth time.
“How wonderful! I hope you don’t mind me asking, what happened to your first husband?”
“He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”
“Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?”
“He also ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”
“Oh, how terrible! I’m almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.”
“He died of a broken neck.”
“A broken neck?”
“He wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.”
I watched a documentary on mushrooms tonight.
It was great, I’ll probably watch them all like that from now on.
My uncle always hated eating mushrooms.
But now that he’s dead, they’re beginning to grow on him.
Don’t walk through a field of mushrooms.
It’s quite a tripping hazard.
So broccoli was having a conversation with some of his friends.
The broccoli said: “I look like a tree!”
The mushroom said: “I look like an umbrella!”
The walnut said: “I look like a brain!”
The banana said: “Can we please change the subject?”
“You know, I think it’s your turn to pick wild mushrooms,” my girlfriend said.
So I gather.
What vegetable goes best with jacket potatoes?
Why’s it a bad idea to eat mushrooms for dinner?
Because you won’t have mushroom left for dessert.
Why wouldn’t the frog lend his hammer to the mushroom?
Because it’s a toad’s tool.
Every cloud has a silver lining…
Unless it’s a mushroom cloud. Then it’s likely strontium.
A pizza shop owner was found dead covered in pepporoni, mushrooms, ham and pineapple.
Word is, he topped himself.
I was illegally hunting for mushrooms.
I have questionable morels.
If getting ordinary words confused with types of mushrooms was an Olympic sport…
I’d be world champignon.
Why was the mushroom arrested?
What room can you never enter?
I used to have this amazing device that would lead me to the most delicious mushrooms.
But now it seems I’ve lost my morel compass.
How does a mushroom clean its house?
With a mushbroom.
Why did the mushroom hate going to school?
He was always so spored.