51. Why don’t penguins like talking to strangers at parties?
They find it hard to break the ice.
52. Did you know Ireland has the fastest growing capital city in the world?
It’s Dublin every day.
53. How do you impress a female baker?
Bring her flours.
54. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two tired.
55. Why did the mobile phone need glasses?
It lost all its contacts.
56. What did the hat say to the scarf?
You go ahead, I’ll hang around.
57. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn?
Where’s pop corn?
58. What did the triangle say to the circle?
59. What did the chip say when he saw the cheese stealing?
Hey, that’s Nachos.
60. Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his food?
Because he was a little shellfish.
61. What do you call a boat with a hole in the bottom?
62. Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the casino?
Because he was on a roll.
63. Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
Because if they flew over the bay they’d be called bagels.
64. What kind of music do mummies listen to?
65. Why did the cookie go to the doctors?
Because he felt crummy.
66. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
67. Why did the stadium get hot after the football game?
All the fans left.
68. Why do bananas wear sun cream?
To stop them from peeling.
69. What do lawyers wear to court?
70. What’s the difference between America and a memory stick?
One’s USA and the other’s USB.
71. What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?
You’re too young to smoke.
72. What’s a bear with no teeth called?
A gummy bear.
73. Why couldn’t the bad sailor learn his alphabet?
Because he always got lost at C.
74. What did the first street say to the second street?
I’ll meet you at the intersection.
75. Why are teddy bears never hungry?
Because they’re always stuffed.
76. What did one toilet say to the other toilet?
You look flushed.
77. What’s the best time to go to the dentist?
78. Where do beef burgers go to dance?
79. Which side of a duck has the most feathers?
80. Where do Volkswagens go when they get old?
The old Volks home.
81. What do a dog and a phone have in common?
They both have collar ID.
82. What did the red light say to the green light?
Don’t look, I’m changing.
83. What do you call a T-Rex that’s been beaten up?
84. What do you call bees that produce milk?
85. What did the axe murderer say to the judge?
It was an axe-ident.
86. How much does a Mustang cost?
More than you can af-Ford.
87. What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You’re under a vest.
88. What do you call someone who plays tricks on Halloween?
89. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it’d be a foot.
90. What do you call a baby monkey?
A chimp off the old block.
91. Why did the pig get hired by the restaurant?
He was really good at bacon.
92. What do you call anxious dinosaurs?
93. What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod.
94. What’s an astronaut’s favorite part of a computer?
The space bar.
95. Why did the poor man sell yeast?
To raise some dough.
96. What do you call a group of mountains?
97. Why don’t vampires bet on horses?
They can’t handle the stakes.
98. All my friends think I’m weird for constantly eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.
But hey, that’s Hawaii roll.
99. My Granddad died making butter on his farm .
It was a really unfortunate churn of events.
Really Cheesy Jokes
If you enjoyed our collection of the best really corny jokes for kids (and who wouldn’t!), you’re sure to enjoy our pages of stupid jokes and funny puns too, so why not check them out, as well as the rest of our funny jokes, such as these: