Urology Jokes And Puns

If you don’t find these urology jokes and puns hilarious then urine trouble. Don’t worry though because they’re the number one jokes around and you’re sure to stream tears of laughter!

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Funny Urology Jokes

What do they say when you get accepted to urology school?


I went to school for years studying urology and you know what they gave me?

A Pee.H.D.

I was in the hospital for kidney issues and the urologist told me I needed a cystoscopy.

I asked him what that was.

“We’re going to YouTube your Peetube.”

I called the urologist on what must have been a busy day.

The receptionist said, “Urology department, can you hold?”

4 out of 5 urologists…

Smell their apple juice before they drink it.

Never let a urologist perform laser eye surgery on you.

You might end up cock-eyed.

Why did the Scotsman visit the urologist?

Because he had a wee problem.

Why are urologists great at sorting out your internet connection?

They can get anything streaming.

Why do urologists not really deal with patients from islands?

Because they deal with in-continent patients!

What’s a urologist’s favorite keyboard shortcut?


I went to the urologist today.

The receptionist asked me to pee in a cup.

I told her that I didn’t think I would be able to since I just peed before my visit.

A couple of minutes later, I handed her the cup back and proudly stated, “Urine luck!”

I was late to my urology appointment today.

When I walked in, the receptionist said, “Urine trouble.”

Why did the gamer visit the urologist?

There was something wrong with his Wii.

What’s the difference between a urologist and a podiatrist?

One is a lot more impressed if you show him a foot.

Why are urologists selfish?

Because they’re all about number one.

A urologist in London had a leak in his bathroom on a Sunday.

He called a plumber who charged him a £50 call out fee plus another £100 for fixing the problem in 15 minutes.

The urologist was shocked and said to the plumber, “I’m a urologist and I fix human water works and I don’t get paid this much!”

The plumber replied, “I know. That’s why I quit urology and took up plumbing! No risk, no litigation, more money, taps don’t bleed and you don’t need an anesthetist!”

The annual urology vs proctology basketball tournament ended predictably.

Urology is #1.

Proctology is #2.

My urologist told me my kidney stone test results were in.

I didn’t pass.

Did you hear about the urologist who got rich doing scrotal lifts for aging men?

He decided to go for the low hanging fruit.

What did the urologist say when they made a discovery?


What legitimizes urology research?

Pee’r review.

What’s the difference between a urologist that has been working for one year and one that has been working for ten?

A vas deferens in experience.

“Doc, I think my son has gonorrhea,” a patient told his urologist on the phone. “The only woman he’s slept with is our maid.”

“OK, don’t be hard on him. He’s just a kid,” the doc soothed. “Get him in here right away and I’ll take care of him.”

“But Doc, I’ve been sleeping with the maid too, and I’ve got the same symptoms.”

“Then you come in with him and I’ll fix you both up,” replied the doctor.

“Well,” the man admitted, “I think my wife now has it too.”

“Nooo!” the physician roared. “That means we’ve all got it!”

What do you call a urologist with a TikTok account?

A DikDok.

What did the group of urologists name their band?

I See Pee.

A man goes to the urologist. He walks in, takes down his pants and takes out his member.

“Doctor, doctor I have a problem. My wife says I’m premature.”

“Premature? I’d say she has a point, I’m only the receptionist. Hold on a minute, the doctor will see you in a minute.”

My urologist found out I wasn’t following his medical advice.

He is angry and told me, “Urine trouble.”

If you ever have dinner with a urologist, make sure you spend as much or more money on the food as he does.

They always prefer to split the deferens.

Did you hear about the blind urologist?

You gotta hand it to him.

Why do urologists like UTIs?

It means urine business.

What do you call a non-religious urologist?

An apostate feelin’ your prostate.

What’s the difference between hematologists and urologists?

A hematologist pricks fingers.

What do you call a buff guy who predicts the weather and can treat a UTI?

A meaty urologist.

My urologist and I kept joking around during my last visit.

Finally he cut it out.

A urologist is sitting down to lunch when he gets a call from a NYPD detective.

Puzzled, he picks up the phone and listens as the detective details the fact patterns of a homicide.

After about 5 minutes the detective finishes, re-summarizes the facts, and asks the urologist, “Who do you think committed the murder?”

The urologist says, “Listen, I think you have the wrong number. I’m a doctor.”

The detective says, “Right! So, in urinalysis, who committed the crime?”

What’s the difference between a weatherman and an overweight doctor that handles the urinary tract?

One’s a meteorologist and the other’s a meaty urologist.

What do you get a man who has everything?

A good urologist.

Why did the anarchist refuse to go to the urologist?

Because he refuse to be a part of anything prostate.

What’s the difference between a gynecologist and an urologist?

The smell of their gloves.

What’s the difference between orthopedics and urology?

You work on the other bone.

Jokes About Urology

If you liked these puns and jokes about urology, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:

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