These funny roofer jokes and roof jokes are on the house. That’s right, there’s not a shingle charge for any of them! We think they might be exactly what you are rafter!
Funny Roofer Jokes
I was walking past a building site when the guy hammering the roof called me a “paranoid little weirdo”.
In morse code.
I’m a 50s roofer.
I did the job asbestos I could.
If you’re looking for a relationship, become a roofer.
You’re bound to find hot shingles in your area.
I’d like to dedicate this joke to my father, who was a roofer.
So Dad, if you’re up there…
Why was the roofer arrested?
He flashed a chimney.
Ever since I was a small child, I always wanted to be a roofer.
You could say I was shingle minded.
Roofers are very straightforward.
It’s always easy to tell what they are rafter.
I used to be a roofer…
Back when I was shingle.
I’m a roofer and earlier today my coworker asked me how I’m gonna get down from the roof of the house. I said I could jump or I could climb down.
I chose the ladder.
Did you hear the one about the roofer with a perfect safety record?
He never had a shingle accident.
When a roofer works pro bono…
It’s on the house.
Why are roofers always irritated?
Because they have to deal with shingles all the time.
That roofer is so arrogant.
He’s always looking down at me.
Jesus spoke to me yesterday.
But I don’t like talking to my roofers, so I had his brother Juan tell him not to do that in the future.
What’s a woman roofer’s favorite song?
Funny Roof Jokes
I started a boat business in the attic.
The sails are going through the roof.
I switched out my bed for a trampoline.
My wife hit the roof when she found out.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night.
What’s the cheapest part of a house?
The roof tiles, because they’re on the house.
One night, as I was laying in bed, I looked up at the stars and thought to myself…
“What the hell happened to the roof?”
I live under a 4 million dollar roof.
Bridges sure are expensive.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
A woman is on vacation and calls home.
She asks her husband, “How’s my cat doing?”
The husband says, “The cat’s dead.”
The woman is upset and says, “Well, you could have broken the news to me when I got home. I can’t enjoy my vacation now. You could’ve just said a little white lie, like the cat’s on the roof and you can’ get her down.”
“Okay, I’m sorry,” says the husband, “I’ll remember that.”
The woman says, “Anyway, how’s my mother doing?”
The husband says, “Your mother’s on the roof and we can’t get her down.”
A dog runs up to their master carrying an unusual stick.
Master: Hey boy, what do you got there?
Master: Bark? Well where did you get such an unusual piece of bark?
Master: The roof? Well how did you get all the way up there?
Dog: With the ladder
A man was mending his roof, when suddenly an elderly messy man showed up on his lawn, yelling to him “Sir, would you get down please”.
The man, not wanting to have to climb down and up the ladder again, yelled back, “What’s the matter, sir?”
The old man replied, “Just get down here first!”
The man thought for a second, and being the polite man he is, climbed down the ladder and asked the old guy what he wanted.
The old guy replied, “Can you please spare me some money?”
The man, after thinking for some moment, said, “Come with me.” He climbed up the ladder, with the old man following him.
When both of them were already up on the roof, the man said to the old man, “No.”
Three men are standing at the edge of the roof on a tall sky scraper. There is a strong wind blowing up the side of the building from below.
One guy says, “This wind is so strong, it will bow you right back up if you happen to fall off, watch!”
He steps off the edge and falls about 30 feet before spreading his arms and legs out to catch the air.
He slows, then rises back up to land gently on the roof again.
The second guy says “That’s awesome, I’m going to try.”
He steps off the roof and falls 120 stories to his death.
The third guy says “Superman, you’re a real mean drunk.”
Two antenna met on a roof.
They fell in love and got married.
The wedding wasn’t much but the reception was excellent.
Wanna hear a roof joke?
It’s on the house.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed these funny roof and roofer jokes, check out our other work jokes such as these: