Plumber Jokes

It was always a pipe dream to bring you the best plumber jokes and these funny examples and puns certainly don’t plumb the depths. In fact, they’re everything they’re cracked up to be! Enjoy them!

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Funny Plumber Jokes & Puns

How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

I had to give up my job as a plumber.

It was just too draining.

First thing this morning there was a tap on my door.

My plumber has a funny sense of humor.

What vegetable do plumbers hate most?


What do plumbers, garbage men,and economists all have in common?

They all deal with gross domestic product.

My grandfather was a plumber, my dad and brother are plumbers.

So if you see me with plumber’s crack, just know it’s in my jeans.

Why do ducks make bad plumbers?

Because they leave your waterfowl, the bill is always on the front end, and they have excessive plumber’s quack.

Did you hear about the depressed plumber?

He’s going through a lot of crap right now.

My mom had plumbers stop at the house to fix the drain. They made so much noise!

She told ’em to pipe down.

Why did the shoe store call a plumber?

Because they had a clog in their drain.

How do plumbers get out of fights?

They tap out.

Why don’t snowboarders make good plumbers?

Because they only know about half pipes.

I used to be a plumber.

But then all of my confidence went down the drain

What do you get when you cross a golfer and a plumber?

A putt crack.

My son wants to be a plumber when he grows up.

I told him that’s a pipe dream.

What’s a plumbers favorite holiday?

Sinko De Mayo.

How do you fix a stuck tap?

You faucet.

A plumber fixes a damaged pipe in a doctor’s house and asks for 200 dollars.

The doctor says to him, “Even I don’t make so much money in such a short period and I’m a doctor!”

The plumber says, “Neither did I when I was a doctor.”

As a plumber’s assistant, I’m always being ordered around… “Stop that dripping, plug that leak, for God’s sake… turn off the water works!”

It’s not my fault, I’m just an emotional guy.

How do you tell the difference between a seamstress and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce the word “sewer”.

What do you call a room full of cynical plumbers?

A skeptic tank.

The plumber found a blunt in my faucet today.

No wonder my water bills are so high.

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