A delicious selection of funny food quotesHere at LaffGaff, we're definitely food lovers. And if you can't eat food, the next best thing is to talk about it!

And so here's a collection of funny food quotes to whet your appetite.

Bon appetit!


Funny Food Quotes

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. ~ Charles. M. Schultz

Whoever thought a tiny candy bar should be called fun size was a moron. ~ Glenn Beck

I’ll bet what motivated the British to colonize so much of the world is that they were just looking for a decent meal. ~ Martha Harrison

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one. ~ Erma Bombeck

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. ~ Fran Lebowitz

Soup is just a way of screwing you out of a meal. ~ Jay Leno

Jo Brand quote about chocolate

Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. ~ Jo Brand

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. ~ Doug Larson

The pig, if I am not mistaken, Supplies us sausage, ham and bacon. Let others say his heart is big, I call it stupid of the pig. ~ Ogden Nash

You have just dined, and however scrupulously the slaughterhouse is concealed in the graceful distance of miles, there is complicity. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have eaten octopus - or squid, I can never quite tell the difference - but never with wholehearted enjoyment on account of not caring for the taste of hot India rubber. ~ Noel Coward

Funny food quotes - Johnathan Swift

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster. ~ Johnathan Swift

The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later, you’re hungry again. ~ George Miller

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch. ~ Orson Welles

There is no love sincerer than the love of food. ~ George Bernard Shaw

The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating. ~ John Walters

When the waitress asked if I wanted my pizza cut into four or eight slices, I said, "Four. I don’t think I can eat eight." ~ Yogi Berra

Parsely, Is gharsely. ~ Ogden Nash

Life is too short for self-hatred and celery sticks. ~ Marilyn Wann

My doctor told me I had to stop throwing intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people. ~ Orson Welles

Funny quote about food from W. C. Fields

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. ~ W. C. Fields

Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. ~ Ernestine Ulmer

New Orleans food is as delicious as the less criminal forms of sin. ~ Mark Twain

There is one thing more exasperating than a wife who can cook and won't, and that's a wife who can't cook and will. ~ Robert Frost

Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out. ~ Samuel Johnson

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. ~ Calvin Trillin

I like rice. Rice is great if you're hungry and want two thousand of something to eat. ~ Mitch Hedberg

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations. ~ Oscar Wilde

Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat - that’s bad for you! ~ Tom Smothers

Ice-cream is exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal. ~ Voltaire

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand. ~ Barbara Johnson

Everything you see I owe to spaghetti. ~ Sophia Loren

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. ~ Julia Child

It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato. ~ Lewis Grizzard

We all eat, and it would be a sad waste of opportunity to eat badly. ~ Anna Thomas

Funny Miss Piggy quote about eating

Never eat more than you can lift. ~ Miss Piggy

Vegetables are a must on a diet.  I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread, and pumpkin pie. ~ Jim Davis

Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners! ~ Roald Dahl

Promises and pie-crust are made to be broken. ~ Johnathan Swift

People who love to eat are always the best people. ~ Julia Child

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart. ~ Erma Bombeck

Large, naked, raw carrots are acceptable as food only to those who live in hutches eagerly awaiting Easter. ~ Fran Lebowitz


Food Quotes

If our funny food quotes haven't sated your cravings, why not try a taste of the rest of our funny quotes too, like these for example: