A collection of funny Ford jokesFord Jokes

Car owners tend to be very protective about the make they drive which makes them easy targets for some gentle ribbing. So if you know a Ford owner, give them some stick with these funny Ford jokes...

And of course if your friends own different makes of cars, just switch out the make in the jokes.



What's the difference between a Ford and the principal's office?

It's less embarrassing if your friends see you leaving the principal's office.


What's on pages 4 and 5 of the Ford user's manual?

The train & bus schedules.


What's the difference between a golf ball and a Ford?

You can drive a golf ball 300 yards.


What do you call a Ford with 200,000 miles on it?

A lie.


What does the GT stand for on a Ford?

Glued together.


What does GT-P stand for on a Ford?

Glued together properly.


Why did Ford put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?

To keep the owner's hands warm when they're pushing the truck into the shop.


That's not a leak...

My Ford's just marking its territory.



Why are the new Ford trucks and cars more aerodynamic?

So they'll save the Chevy gas when it tows them away.


Buy a Ford and you buy the best...

Drive the first mile and walk the rest.


What should the Ford Mustang really be called?

The Ford Rustang.


What's the difference between a Ford and a tampon?

A tampon comes with its own tow rope.


What do the new speed limit signs say on our suburban roads?

Max speed: 60 km/h. Fords do best you can.


Did you know that 98% of all Fords ever built are still on the road?

The other 2% made it home.


Why is Pokemon Go a lifesaver?

Because it gives Ford owners something to do while they walk home.


What do you call a Ford with dual exhausts?

A wheelbarrow.


How do you double the value of a Ford Focus?

Fill the tank.


What do you call a Ford at the top of a hill?

A miracle.


What do you call two Fords at the top of a hill?

A mirage.


Why did the cat sleep under the Ford Focus?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.


Did you know that Ford has a new magnetized bumper?

They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.


Why are there sidewalks beside streets?

So that Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.


Why do the new Ford Explorers have larger bumpers?

To make it easier on the tow trucks.


What did the Chevy say to the Ford?

Would you like a tow home?


How can you improve a Ford Focus?

Put a Toyota engine in it.


What's the difference between a Ford and a shopping trolley?

A shopping trolley is much easier to push.


Whats the difference between a Ford and a Jehovah's Witness?

You can shut the door on a Jehovah's Witness.


What do you call a Ford with a seat belt?

A rucksack.


What did the Toyota say to the Ford on the side of the road?

Rust-in-peace.


What do you call a Ford Convertible ?

A mini-skip.


How do you make a Ford go faster downhill?

Turn off the engine.


What do you call someone who buys a second hand Ford?

A scrap dealer.


Why are Ford dealers giving away a dog with each Ford sold?

So the owner has a someone to walk home with.


A man and his dog went out riding one day in a Ford car.

When they got out in the country the car broke down and the man, knowing no other way to get his car to town, hitched his dog to the car and then started back.

When he arrived in town an officer of the humane society immediately put him under arrest for cruelty to animals.

When he was arraigned before court for trial the judge asked the officer what he arrested this man for. The officer stepped up and said, "This man was arrested for tying tin cans to a dog's tail."


I went to a couple of car dealerships last week.

The first I stopped at was Kia. Nothing really caught my eye, but the price was right.

Then I went to a Ford dealer. I didn't really find anything I liked, but every car had a pair of shoes in the trunk.

Finally, I went to the Chevy dealer where I saw one that I liked.

The dealer did the once over with me, then he popped the trunk.

Disappointed, I looked at the dealer and said, "There's something missing."

The dealer was puzzled and asked, "What?"

I said, "At the Ford dealership I checked out, they had a new pair of shoes in the trunk of every car!"

Smiling the dealer said, "That's so they can walk home!"


Why are the new Fords lighter?

So a Chevy can tow more of them at once.


Why does Ford put magazines in the glove box of their new vehicles?

So you'll have something to read while waiting on the tow truck.


Ford Jokes

If you enjoyed our collection of Ford jokes, be sure to check out the rest of our site for lots more laughs including these: