Whatever you think of Donald Trump and his policies, he’s certainly livened up the American political scene. And one of the side effects of his rise to prominence has been the emergence of Donald Trump jokes. So even if you don’t like him, every cloud has a silver lining! And we thought now would be a good time to collect together the very best jokes about him. So whatever your political leanings, we hope you enjoy these hilariously funny Donald Trump jokes…
Donald Trump Jokes
He wants to make America grate again.
Sales of alcohol have never been higher.
Not by choice though…
Trump himself never has to go to the bathroom, as the crap just comes straight out of his mouth.
“What, a suicide bomber? ” I asked.
“No, a surface to hair missile.”
He really needs to keep his hair on.
But it would just end up being elected President.
Now she can call herself the First Lady instead of the Third Wife.
Because now he’ll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.
10 billion dollars and high cholesterol.
They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.
Just one Pence.
“Mister President, we’ve been over this…”
In one of the classes, they’re in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.
The teacher asks Trump if he’d like to lead the discussion of the word “tragedy.”
He agrees to do so and asks the class for an example of a tragedy.
One little boy stands up and says, “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” says Trump, “That would be an accident.”
Next a little girl raises her hand and says, “If a school bus carrying forty children went off a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”
“No, I’m afraid not,” says Trump. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”
The room goes silent for a while as no other children volunteer.
Trump looks around the room and says a little testily, “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”
At last, a little boy at the back of the class raises his hand and says, “If a private jet carrying you, Mr Trump, was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” shouts Mr Trump, “That’s exactly right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”
“Well,” says the boy, “Because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”
Clearly, orange is the new black.
The 45th President of the United States of America.
Police says it’s impossible to tell if it was done by Trump’s opponents or his supporters.
Look, we can change the light bulb. That I will tell you. We’re changing it, ok? And I understand what you’re saying, I hear it all the time. People call me and say “Is the light bulb really dead?”. That’s what they are asking me, its unbelievable. The light bulb is in big trouble, that I can tell you. But we are going to change it.
If you mess with the USA, there’ll be hell toupee.
Juan by Juan.
He’s equally hated by blacks and Hispanics.
The other 30% said it will make them Canadians.
I thought he was running as a joke.