Donald Trump JokesWhatever you think of Donald Trump and his policies, he’s certainly livened up the American political scene. And one of the side effects of his rise to prominence has been the emergence of Donald Trump jokes. So even if you don’t like him, every cloud has a silver lining! And we thought now would be a good time to collect together the very best jokes about him. So whatever your political leanings, we hope you enjoy these hilariously funny Donald Trump jokes…

Donald Trump Jokes

Donald Trump has announced that now he’s been elected President he’s going to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.

He wants to make America grate again.

Now that Donald Trump has been elected President, there’ll be hell toupée.
Donald Trump getting elected President has already had a positive effect on the economy.

Sales of alcohol have never been higher.

Now that Donald Trump’s becoming president, I’m going to Mexico.

Not by choice though…

What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation?

Discrimination.

Donald Trump labelled Hillary Clinton “disgusting” for taking a bathroom break during the recent Democrat debate.

Trump himself never has to go to the bathroom, as the crap just comes straight out of his mouth.

My friend said to me, “I hear the FBI have foiled a terrorist plot to kill Donald trump.”

“What, a suicide bomber? ” I asked.

“No, a surface to hair missile.”

Donald Trump has announced that he’s going to ban wind farms now he’s been elected.

He really needs to keep his hair on.

I’d make a political joke…

But it would just end up being elected President.

Donald Trump is going to be the next president, but the real winner is Melania Trump.

Now she can call herself the First Lady instead of the Third Wife.

Why did Donald Trump secretly not want to win the election?

Because now he’ll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

10 billion dollars and high cholesterol.

What do Donald Trump and the iPhone 7 have in common?

They both think de-porting is the answer when there’s no more Jobs.

How much is Donald Trump’s life insurance?

Just one Pence.

“You’re telling me I’m losing my job because Trump won the election? Why, because I’m black?!?”

“Mister President, we’ve been over this…”

Donald Trump is visiting an elementary school one day.

In one of the classes, they’re in the middle of a discussion about words and their meanings.

The teacher asks Trump if he’d like to lead the discussion of the word “tragedy.”

He agrees to do so and asks the class for an example of a tragedy.

One little boy stands up and says, “If my best friend who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and runs him over and kills him, that would be a tragedy.”

“No,” says Trump, “That would be an accident.”

Next a little girl raises her hand and says, “If a school bus carrying forty children went off a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.”

“No, I’m afraid not,” says Trump. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room goes silent for a while as no other children volunteer.

Trump looks around the room and says a little testily, “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?”

At last, a little boy at the back of the class raises his hand and says, “If a private jet carrying you, Mr Trump, was struck by a missile and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”

“Fantastic!” shouts Mr Trump, “That’s exactly right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well,” says the boy, “Because it sure as hell wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”

Now Donald Trump has been elected as President, he’ll be the first man to use fake tan inside the Oval Office.

Clearly, orange is the new black.

What happens when you take a joke too far?

The 45th President of the United States of America.

A swastika has been spray painted over Donald Trump’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Police says it’s impossible to tell if it was done by Trump’s opponents or his supporters.

How many Donald Trump supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

Look, we can change the light bulb. That I will tell you. We’re changing it, ok? And I understand what you’re saying, I hear it all the time. People call me and say “Is the light bulb really dead?”. That’s what they are asking me, its unbelievable. The light bulb is in big trouble, that I can tell you. But we are going to change it.

Donald Trump’s foreign policy:

If you mess with the USA, there’ll be hell toupee.

How does Donald Trump plan on deporting illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.

Donald Trump has done more than anyone to promote equality…

He’s equally hated by blacks and Hispanics.

In a recent survey, 70% of Americans responded that Donald Trump being elected has made them nervous.

The other 30% said it will make them Canadians.

Donald Trump has announced that now he’s been elected, he’s going to put a wig on the Presidential plane and call it Hair Force One.
If Donald Trump becomes President, it won’t be the first time he’s kicked a black family out of their home.
I just found out Donald Trump is running for President as a Republican.

I thought he was running as a joke.

Do you want to hear a racist joke?

Donald Trump.

Donald Trump Jokes

If you enjoyed these Donald Trump jokes, be sure to check out the rest of our site for lots more funny jokes, including our funny Mexican jokes and our other jokes about people.

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