We’ve been Biden our time before bringing you these funny Joe Biden jokes and puns but now that we have we’re sure you’ll agree they’re unforgettable and they pass the sniff test!
Funny Joe Biden Jokes
What’s the best thing about being Joe Biden?
Waking up every day and learning that you’re the president.
When Joe Biden became president…
The White House become forBiden.
Biden will NEVER, EVER be my president.
Because I live in Canada.
What’s Joe Biden’s favorite arcade game?
Space Invaders.
So, Joe Biden walks into a bar and sees a hot, young woman sitting alone at a table…
Hey there, do I come here often?
Joe Biden had a meeting with the cabinet today.
He also spoke to the bookcase and argued with the desk.
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Why can’t Trump go to the White House?
Because it’s forBiden.
President Biden has announced water is now only legal in three states.
Solid, liquid and gas.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
“Smell ya later!”
In 1992 while being interviewed by MTV, Bill Clinton was asked if he wore boxers or briefs?
Clinton replied, “Boxers”
In 2008 US magazine asked Obama, “Boxers or briefs?”
Obama declined to answer the question.
Last week AARP asked Joe Biden, “Boxers or briefs?”
Biden responded, “Depends”.
Trump and Biden are trapped on island. Who survives?
America.
Biden will NEVER get my guns.
I keep them upstairs.
The President invites the Pope to lunch on a boat.
The Pope accepted and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the pontiff’s hat off, right into the water.
It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated in place.
The crew and the Secret Service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Biden waved them off, saying, “Never mind boys, I’ll get it.”
Then Joe climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed into the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat.
The crew was speechless.
The security team and the Pope’s entourage were speechless.
No one knew what to say, not even the Pope.
But that afternoon, ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC reported:
“BIDEN CAN’T SWIM”.
What did Trump say to Biden in the hallway of the wWite House?
Pardon me, please.
China is already welcoming Biden’s victory.
They’ve commemorated a city to him already.
They call it the for-Biden city.
Why didn’t Joe run for office in 2016?
He was Biden his time.
Joe Biden and Kamala Harris go out for a morning run together.
Kamala finishes in just under twelve minutes and Joe is already waiting for her at the finish line.
“How’d you do?” she asks him.
“I finished in 10 minutes and 46 seconds. That’s got to be a new record among Presidents, right?”
“No,” Kamala replies. “Bush did 9:11”.
In honor of president Biden…
I forgot the punchline.
Why can President Biden not play in a bluegrass band?
Because it has banned-Joe.
Biden was a c-student in college.
Just an average Joe.
Joe Biden is reportedly looking to nominate geologists to be supreme associate justices.
The news supports recent claims that he’s trying to stack the quartz.
Why does the President stop at the traffic light?
Because he’s a law a ‘Biden’ citizen.
When Joe Biden announced that he was running for President…
I felt so touched.
The Pope, Donald Trump, Joe Biden, and a little boy are crossing the Atlantic on an airplane when the engines fail.
They find three parachutes.
Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps out of the plane saying, “The world needs a great person like me!”
Joe Biden grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world”, so he jumps off the plane.
At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane.
The Pope says to the boy, “Take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.”
“Actually there are two left. Donald Trump took my backpack.”
My girlfriend told me she will leave me if I don’t support Trump…
I said ok.. Biden.
During his presidency, there were some files that even Obama couldn’t touch.
The For Biden files.
Joe Biden is like a web browser with 19 tabs open.
17 are frozen and he doesn’t know where the music is coming from.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
Because muffins backwards is sniffum.
If Joe Biden’s wife is called the First Lady, then what is his mother be called?
Joe mama.
What is the difference between a Joe Biden speech and a Donald Trump speech?
When Biden is speaking you wonder if he’s had a stroke.
When Trump is speaking you wonder if you’ve had a stroke.
Joe Biden has forgotten more about governing than Trump ever learned.
Jokes About Joe Biden
If you enjoyed these puns and jokes about Joe Biden, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these:
