Lawyer Pick Up Lines So Funny They Should Be Illegal!

These funny lawyer pick up lines will make you laugh so much they should be outlawed! You certainly won’t be held in contempt for using them!

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Funny Lawyer Pick Up Lines

Are you a lawyer?

Because you’re the proseCUTEST!

Are you a lawyer?

I was hoping you’d be able to get me off.

Are you pro-bono or just happy to see me?

I’m a good lawyer, and I like to be on top of things.

Are you a lawyer?

Because I’d like to to see your briefs.

I’m a criminal lawyer.

Want to see my handcuffs?

You don’t wanna go home with me?


Let me show you section 69 of my penal code.

I hope you don’t object to this leading question, but you want me to, don’t you?

I don’t know if I have standing, but I’d love to court you.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

Because you could be entitled to compensation.

If I do not hear from you within 7 days, I will proceed as I deem fit.

I’m a lawyer.

If you’re my client, I’ll get you off.

If you aren’t, the offer still stands.

Would you like to see my power of attorney?

I accept briefs in all areas.

Hey baby, are you a lawyer?

Because talking to you just violated the terms of my parole.

There is no burden of proof for how fine you are.

You’re the only thing I’d want to do due diligence on for 48 hours straight.

I’m a lawyer.

My special interest is in bedding law.

How about a notice of motion?

Is your Daddy a lawyer?

Because you look innocent, and I feel guilty.

Do you want to quash my excess of jurisdiction?

Hey girl! I’m a lawyer.

Call me when you want to get a divorce!

Hey baby, I’ll show you my opening statement but it’s up to you to close.

I’m a lawyer.

I’m going to sue the pants off you.

Girl, I can sustain an objection for almost four hours.

Hey baby, how about we head back to my place, and we make a nudum pactum?

Hey baby! Do you have a lawyer?

Because you just stole my heart.

Cutie, I’ve got a preexisting duty to make you come laude.

I believe that it’s in our best interest to comply with section 69 of the act.

Are you my lawyer?

Because you should be screwing me.

I’ll be the accessory if you’ll be the principal.

Girl, you’re testi-fine.

Baby, if you were a contract, you’d be the fine print.

Hey boy, I hear you’re of good fame and character.

Just disclothes, and I’ll admit you.

You can hold me in contempt, as long as you hold me.

I love you beyond a reasonable doubt.

Have you got an oral argument for me?

Let me show you my mens rea.

When I bring an ejectment action, there’ll be nothing quiet about your enjoyment.

Excuse me, are you into reverse bifurcation?

Hey baby, are you a lawyer?

Because talking to you just violated the terms of my parole.

More Funny Pick Up Lines

Here at LaffGaff we have lots more great pick up lines you may enjoy, such as these:

More Legal Humor

If you liked these lawyer pick up lines, here’s some more legal humor for you:

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