These funny art jokes and puns are real masterpieces! So we’d like to draw your attention to them – but don’t worry, there’s nothing sketchy about them!
Funny Art Jokes
What is a seal’s favorite subject?
Art Art Art Art!!!
I never liked art teachers…
They were always a bit sketchy.
My son was crying today because he spilled his scrambled eggs all over his art supplies.
He was having an eggs and stencils crisis.
Isn’t it annoying when engineering students call themselves engineers?
It’s stupid. You don’t hear medical students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves baristas.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs on the wall?
Why did the art thief’s van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.
A professor, a CEO, and a janitor are in a forest when they discover a magic fairy.
The fairy says, “I will give you what you most desire if you do someone else’s job for a day.”
The professor says, “I’ll be an elementary school teacher. What can be so hard about teaching a bunch of 6-year-olds how to read?”
So he is teleported into a classroom.
After a few minutes, all the kids’ screaming gets to his nerves, so he throws all his supplies and gives up.
The C.E.O says, “I’ll be a waiter. All you do is carry food back and forth. This’ll be a breeze.”
So he is teleported to a restaurant.
After about an hour, all the annoying customers drive him insane, so he smashes his plates on the ground and gives up.
The janitor says, “I’ll be an artist.”
So he is transported to an art facility. He glues all the classroom supplies and shattered plates to a canvas, then sells it for a billion dollars.
The fairy asks the janitor how he was so clever.
The janitor says, “I got a masters degree in art.”
I was going to get a tattoo in Madrid, but the tattoo artist I wanted to go to got in trouble for making some anti-government tattoo art, which was quite a surprise.
No one expects the Spanish ink sedition.
Two artists had an art contest. How did it end?
It ended in a draw.
Once I got my art degree I didn’t need to deliver to people anymore.
Now they come to me, explaining what they want me to create. Then I ask them to pull up to the next window.
Why did the student throw a 64 pack of Crayola crayons at his art teacher after he was done with his test?
He wanted to pass with flying colors.
The Earth without art is…
Bad news: A message in German sent 110 years ago by homing pigeon was just found.
Worse news: It was an acceptance letter to art school.
What’s a mathematician’s favorite type of art?
Billy turned in his art project and his teacher said, “This piece of paper has nothing on it?”
Billy replied, “I drew a blank.”
How do you get an art major off your front porch?
Pay for the pizza.
I got an Art History degree but ended up being a mechanic.
I had a customer who loved that I made their Van Gogh, but hated it when I talked their ear off.
I once knew a guy who cut small sculptures from Filet Minion.
Apparently, that medium is rare, but it’s the steak of the art.
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery.
An art critic approaches him and asks, “Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?”
“I don’t mind, you can tell me anyway.”
What degree do you need to write parking tickets?
I was going to take an art class in college.
But it was too sketchy for me.
Something drew me away from it.
Have you noticed we never hear about grave robbers nowadays?
Apparently it’s a dying art.
They told me I couldn’t make it with an Arts degree…
But in sculpture class alone I made six figures.
Did you hear about the gold digger who married a rich art collector?
She was just in it for the Monet.
A person with an art degree walks into a bar.
They then head behind the counter and start serving drinks.
They kicked me out of art school when my sculpture didn’t work out as planned.
I reached my statue of limitations.
I went to an art gallery and noticed that all the info was also available in braille.
I was rejected from my dream art school because I used the wrong pencil.
It wasn’t 2B.
What do you call modern Scottish art?
A glass cow.
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called and asked to speak to his client.
“Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.”
The art collector replied, “You know, I’ve had an awful day, Jack, so let’s hear the good news first.”
The lawyer said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she has invested only $5,000 in two very nice pictures that she thinks will bring somewhere between $15 and $20 million … and I think she could be right.”
Saul replied enthusiastically, “Holy cow! Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman, isn’t she? You’ve just made my day. Now, I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?”
The lawyer replied, “The pictures are of you and your secretary.”
Why did Dracula get kicked out of art school?
He could only draw blood.
Why was the art restorer sent to prison?
He was a Monet launderer.
When Miley Cyrus dances scantily clad and licks a hammer it’s call art.
When I do it, I get kicked out of Home Depot.
I got an F in art class on purpose.
I wanted my report card to spell out F art.
Why didn’t the famous clock in the art museum work?
It was a timeless piece of art.
Why did the console gamer get a headache at the art museum?
Too many frames.
Why couldn’t the art forger pay his rent?
Because he didn’t make any Monet.
Kids these days don’t know how to tie dye properly.
I guess you could say it’s a dying art.
What’s the difference between a guy with an Arts Major, and a guy with a Philosophy Major?
One will ask WHY you want fries with that!
I just read in the newspaper: “Painting stolen from art museum found by a set of dustbins.”
Those dustbins must be very intelligent.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite form of art?
I heard they finally caught the art thief.
But I think he was framed.
Me: I love going to art school!
My wife: You can’t go any more!
Me: But that’s where I draw the line.
I can tolerate the math class, or even the history class…
But the art class is where I draw the line.
R Kelly is really changing the rap game.
He takes the art out of rap artist.
I went to an art gallery.
It was $60 to enter and $80 to look at each picture.
It was called Electronic Arts.
What grades did Hitler get in art school?
I don’t mean to brag but my Christmas wrapping is art.
I wrap presents like it’s an extension of my soul.
It just so happens my soul is twisted, torn, and barely held together with tape.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art gallery.
They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.
“Look at how reserved and calm they are,” the Englishman says, “They would definitely be English.”
“They are naked and beautiful, they would have to be French,” the Frenchmen counters.
The Russian speaks up, “No clothes, no shelter, no bed, they have only an apple between them, and they’re told this is paradise. They are certainly Russian.”
A science graduate asks the question why?
An engineering graduate asks the question how?
An arts graduate asks, “Would you like fries with that?”
How do you make an art student’s car go faster?
Just remove the huge Dominoes sign on top.
What’s the difference between 4-layer toilet paper and a liberal arts major?
You don’t find 4-layer toilet paper at McDonalds.
More Funny Jokes
If you enjoyed our hilarious puns and jokes about art, be sure to check out the rest of LaffGaff for lots more funny jokes, such as these: