How many countries have coastlines on the Black Sea?
Show answer
Six – Bulgaria, Georgia, Romania, Russia, Turkey and Ukraine.
LaffGaff Archives
Pirate Jokes
To be clear, I don’t mind seeing a few pirate jokes every now and then.
But please let’s not go overboard.
How did Valentina Tereshkova make history on June 16, 1963?
Show answer
She was the first woman to travel in space.
Velcro Shoes
l’ve decided to get Velcro shoes instead of lace-ups.
I mean, why knot?
Who is lead singer of indie rock band The Killers?
Show answer
Brandon Flowers.
Herbs
Today, my parsley, basil, and rosemary all turned against me.
Thyme is on my side, though.
Who starred as Calamity Jane in the 1953 movie?
Show answer
Doris Day.
Octopus Coat
I saw a knight wearing a coat shaped like an octopus.
Apparently, it was his coat of arms.
Limassol and Famagusta are districts on what Mediterranean island?
Show answer
Cyprus.
Roof Repair
Who does Beyoncé call when she needs her roof repaired?
All the shingle ladies! All the shingle ladies!
Which Spice Girl did David Beckham marry in 1999?
Show answer
Victoria Adams (Posh Spice).
Hindsight
Professor X: What’s your super power?
Me: Hindsight.
Professor X: That’s not going to help us.
Me: Yes I see that now.
In what year did Elvis Presley die?
Show answer
1977.
Posture Specialist
I had a date with a posture specialist.
She stood me up.
What is the name of Donkey Kong’s nephew in the video game series?
Show answer
Diddy Kong.
Ibuprofen
You know you’re over 40 when you have “upstairs ibuprofen” and “downstairs ibuprofen”.
What does a philographist collect?
Show answer
Autographs.
Computer Programming
How do you make a computer say “5”?
You’ll figure it out. It’s programming binary 101.
Which chess piece is called cavalier in French?
Show answer
The knight.
Carbonation Study
What do you call a scientist that studies carbonation?
A fizzicist.
What is the first country due west of Puerto Rico?
Show answer
Dominican Republic.
Repetitive Phrases
I hate it when people use repetitive phrases.
Enough is enough.
What presidential assassin was killed near Bowling Green, Virginia?
Show answer
John Wilkes Booth.
For The Record
For the record …
I should probably buy a turntable.
What name is given to the longest side in a right-angled triangle?
Show answer
Hypotenuse.
Bugs Bunny
Bugs Bunny won’t accept files through Google Drive.
He’ll only take a WhatsApp doc.
Limbo Dancer And Locksmith
A limbo dancer married a locksmith.
The wedding was low key.
Who was the Greek goddess of the moon?
Show answer
Selene.
Which Bond movie character used a steel-rimmed bowler hat as a weapon?
Show answer
Oddjob.
Second Hand Store
I saw a man with one arm shopping at a second hand store.
I don’t think he’s gonna find what he’s looking for.
In which part of your body would you find the carotid arteries?
Show answer
The neck.
New Printer
I got a clever new printer that has printed a selfie I took in ultra violet ink.
Now people see me in a different light.
What is the line on a weather map that links points with the same temperature?
Show answer
Isotherm.
Stir Fry
Why can’t stir fry be cooked on the ocean?
Because you can’t wok on water.
The Mock Turtle is a character in which book?
Show answer
Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.
Medieval Soldier
We argued all day over what to call a medieval soldier.
But it was getting late so we called it a knight.
The Minoan civilization was centered on which island?
Show answer
Crete.
Tubes Of Glue
I got fired because I couldn’t make a thousand tubes of glue an hour.
I guess I couldn’t handle a fast paste working environment.
The crab is the symbol of which sign of the zodiac?
Show answer
Cancer.
Neuralink
I just read that Elon Musk’s Neuralink brain chip can be implanted with a tiny fan to help keep your head from overheating.
That’s mind-blowing.
Into what three superstates is the world divided in the novel ‘1984’?
Show answer
Oceania, Eurasia and Eastasia.
Grave Digger
What’s a grave digger’s favorite element?
Barium.
The Korean Strait separates South Korea from what country to its east?
Show answer
Japan.
Tour Bus
Sad to hear The Who’s old tour bus has finally broken down for good.
It won’t get fuelled again.
Who wrote the novel ‘The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn’?
Show answer
Mark Twain.
Tribute Band
I’m starting a tribute band called “Paper.”
We cover rock.
What branch of geography studies the distribution of plants and animals on Earth?
Show answer
Biogeography.
Sick Astronauts
When astronauts get sick …
Do they feel over the weather?
Who was lead singer of the band The Doors?
Show answer
Jim Morrison.
Password Hacked
My email password got hacked again.
That’s the third time I’ve had to rename the cat.