Sat Nav Lover
I love my sat nav.
I’d be lost without it.
Technology Jokes
Take a byte out of these funny technology jokes and puns. We compute that you’re sure to find them hilarious!
Peripheral Vision
I keep seeing printers, scanners and webcams out of the corner of my eye.
It’s my peripheral vision.
Shakespeare Game
Have you seen the new Shakespeare computer game?
Sonnet the Hedgehog.
Stolen Car
Someone stole my car last night but left their mobile phone in the parking space.
Went from Kia to Nokia overnight.
Computer Programming
How do you make a computer say “5”?
You’ll figure it out. It’s programming binary 101.
Bugs Bunny
Bugs Bunny won’t accept files through Google Drive.
He’ll only take a WhatsApp doc.
New Printer
I got a clever new printer that has printed a selfie I took in ultra violet ink.
Now people see me in a different light.
Keyboard Thief
After stealing all the punctuation marks off the judge’s keyboard …
I’m expecting a long sentence.
Recovering Hackers
I went to a meeting of recovering hackers.
It was called Anonymous Anonymous.
Old Man
My kid called me an old man this morning.
We both laughed and laughed.
Then I changed the WiFi password.
Frozen Computer
It was so cold yesterday my computer froze.
It was my own fault though, I left too many windows open.
Tech Guy
I hate it when I can’t figure out how to operate the iPad and my tech guy is asleep.
He’s 5 and it’s past his bedtime.
Computer’s Worst Memory
What’s a computer’s worst memory?
Terrorbytes!
Dying Airport Computer
What do you call a dying airport computer?
A terminal terminal terminal.
Microsoft Competitor
I’ve created a writing software product to rival Microsoft’s.
It’s their Word against mine.
iPad Thief
Great news! The police arrested the man who stole my iPad.
I hope he’s going to face time.
Broke Programmer
Why did the programmer go broke?
Because she used up all her cache.
Binary Explanation
Someone tried to explain binary to me.
I couldn’t understand a bit of it.
Big Crumb
I dropped a really big crumb on my laptop keyboard. Turned out to be nothing to worry about though.
It’s under Ctrl.
Wife Argument
Arguing with my wife is like reading a software license agreement.
In the end, I ignore it all and click “I agree.”
Plumbing Review Website
I’m starting my own plumbing services review website.
Dripadvisor.
Strongest Passwords
Why do drum kits have the strongest password protection?
Because they contain special cymbals.
Outdated Technology Joke
My kids think I use outdated technology.
But they’re just ignoring the fax.
Alexa Joke
Alexa, tell me a joke… Alexa? Alexa?
Sorry, I wasn’t listening. I thought you deserved some privacy.
Really? Well, that’s nic-
Would you like to hear another joke?
Binary Course
I signed up for Binary 101 but failed it miserably.
I had no idea it was a Level 5 course.
Keyboard Trouble
I was so angry earlier that I threw my keyboard against the wall and parts flew everywhere.
That’s when the shift hit the fan.
Hard Drive
How do you eat a hard drive?
One byte at a time!
Disgusting Difference
What’s the difference between a vegan and a computer programmer?
One is disgusted by a rack of lamb and the other is disgusted by a lack of RAM.
Head Slam
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.
I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljnm,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
Scroll Replacement
Tablets were replaced by scrolls.
Scrolls were replaced by books.
Now we scroll through books on tablets.
Keyboard Switcher
I ran into the office this morning and switched the m and n keys on as many keyboards as I could. Some might call me a monster but …
The rest are definitely goimg to call ne a nomster.
Programmer Money
Today I made my first money as a programmer.
I sold my laptop.
Software Tester
A software tester walks into a bar.
Runs into a bar.
Crawls into a bar.
Dances into a bar.
Flies into a bar.
Jumps into a bar.
And orders:
A beer.
2 beers.
0 beers.
99999999 beers.
A lizard in a beer glass.
-1 beer.
“Qwertyuiop” beers.
Testing complete.
A real customer walks into the bar and asks where the bathroom is.
The bar goes up in flames.
On The Router
My wifi password is “writtenontherouter”…
I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it’s literally “writtenontherouter”.
Computer Outage
Our computers went down at work today, so we had to do everything manually.
It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards for Solitaire.
The Computer
My boss calls me “The computer”.
It’s nothing to do with intelligence; I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
Computer Problems
I told my boss, “Sorry I’m late. I was having computer issues.”
He asked, “Hard drive?”
I said, “No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.”
Computer Hackers
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just ransomware.
Why Alexa?
Alexa, why do I always screw up with the ladies?
I’m Siri, you idiot!
Space Station
Why do people on the ISS use Linux?
You can’t open windows in space.
