Clever Fish
What do you call a fish that has completed 8 years of medical school?
A brain sturgeon.
These side-splitting surgery jokes and puns prove that laughter really is the best medicine!
What do you call a fish that has completed 8 years of medical school?
A brain sturgeon.
If anyone knows how to correct cosmetic surgery that’s gone horribly wrong …
I’m all ears.
What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?
I just want to know the cut off date.
A guy just finishes his Lasik surgery and his surgeon leads him in his office to discuss the surgery.
The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first.
The man excitedly replies, “I’ll take the good news first.”
The surgeon tells him, “Well, you’re about to get a new dog.”
Before my surgery, the anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
For years I was against organ transplants.
Then I had a change of heart.
Remember when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?
Now you mention Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
My bald surgeon is the most charismatic man I’ve ever met.
He’s a real smooth operator.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon that screwed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him …
With my bear hands.
My mother used to say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.
Lovely woman.
Useless surgeon.
What’s the most common operation in a LEGO hospital?
Plastic surgery.
“Hello everyone, and welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I’m pretty disappointed.”
I went for a minor procedure at the hospital the other day. As I felt the anaesthetic starting to kick in I said, “I have a joke for you.”
The anaesthetist said, “You’d better be quick!”
I said, “Do you know what the key to comedy is?”
Then I smiled and passed out.
When I woke up a couple of hours later, I asked the nurse to pass the anaesthetist a message: “Timing.”
I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant.
But then I changed my mind.
As I laid on the hospital trolley awaiting my surgery, I asked the doctor, “How long will I be in hospital?”
He said, “If all goes well, about a week. If not, about 45 minutes.”
“Do you really have to lick the knife?” she asked.
“Sorry, force of habit,” I said. “Lots of people do it though, don’t they?”
“Yes but not during surgery, Doctor.”
A naturist cosmetic surgeon recently moved in to my sleepy little town.
He raised a few eyebrows.