Shoe Jokes For Even The Most Miserable Sole!

Shoe Factory

Did you hear about the shoe factory that burned down?

So many lost soles.

Velcro Shoes

l’ve decided to get Velcro shoes instead of lace-ups.

I mean, why knot?

Inspirational Shoes

What do you call a pair of inspirational shoes?

Motivational sneakers.

Mess With Husband

Sometimes I like to mess with my husband and hide his stuff where he can’t find it.

Like I put his shoes in the shoe closet, his jacket on the hanger and his keys on the key hook.

Shoe Shop

I was in a shoe shop this morning trying on a shoe.

I said to the assistant, “It’s too tight”.

She said, “Try it with the tongue out”.

I said, “It’th nho ghood, it’th thtill thoo thight”.

Clean Socks

My wife told me that I should put a clean pair of socks on every day.

By Friday, I couldn’t get my shoes on.

Shoe Store

I finally was able to open my shoe store for only large sized shoes.

Let me tell you, it was no small feet.

Clown Date

My wife dated a clown before she started going out with me.

I had some pretty big shoes to fill.

Two Left Feet

A man with 2 left feet goes into a shoe store and asks…

“Do you sell flip flips?”

Banana Shoe

What do you call a shoe made from a banana?

A slipper.

Sounds Like A Sneeze

What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather?

A shoe.

Shoe Video

I took a video of my shoe yesterday.

It was some pretty good footage.

Wooden Shoes

I should have known better than to flush my wooden shoes down the toilet.

Now it’s clogged.

Clever Dutchman

A Dutchman has invented shoes that record how many miles you’ve walked.

Clever clogs.

Shoelace Earphones

I’ve just replaced my shoelaces with earphones.

Now they tie themselves.

Killed A Spider

I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe.

I don’t care how big a spider is, no-one steals my shoe.

Alcohol Fun

I hate it when people say you don’t need to drink alcohol to have fun.

You don’t need shoes to run, but it sure does help.

In Case Of Zombie Apocalypse

As a funeral director, I always tie the shoe laces of the deceased together.

Because if there was ever a zombie apocalypse, it would be hilarious.