King Arthur’s Army
Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight?
It had too many sleepless knights.
These medieval jokes and puns are so funny they’re sure to go down in history! They’re guaranteed to make your knight!
Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight?
It had too many sleepless knights.
Where did people hang out during medieval times?
At the knight club.
What do you call a bird in a suit of armor?
A knight owl.
I saw a knight wearing a coat shaped like an octopus.
Apparently, it was his coat of arms.
We argued all day over what to call a medieval soldier.
But it was getting late so we called it a knight.
What do you call a medieval spy?
Sir Veillance.
What do you call a medieval lamp?
A knight light.
A medieval king was hunting in Africa. He killed a lion, an elephant, and a hippopotamus, and awarded the skins to his three squires back home in his kingdom. Thus, the three squires became known as the Lion Squire, the Elephant Squire, and the Hippo Squire.
As the years passed, the Lion Squire and the Elephant Squire became very jealous of the Hippo Squire because they wanted the hippo skin too. So, they hatched a plan to assassinate the Hippo Squire and divide the hippo skin between them equally.
Now the Lion Squire had eight sons, and the Elephant Squire had ten sons, but the Hippo Squire was childless. The Lion Squire and the Elephant Squire sent there eighteen sons to kill the Hippo Squire, but the Hippo Squire drew his sword and single-handedly slaughtered all eighteen of them.
And thus, it was proven once and for all that the squire of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squires of the other two hides.
I wanted to name my son Lance, but my wife said it was too uncommon.
I told her that in medieval days, people were named Lance a lot.
I just Googled the phrase “missing medieval servant”.
It came back with “Page not found”.
Last night, I gave my girlfriend a medieval battle uniform to polish while I went to the bar.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armor.