Skip Lunch
Why did the two fours skip lunch?
Because they already eight.
Lunch Jokes
These hilarious bite-sized lunch jokes are perfect for a laughter snack, so get your teeth into them now!
Lawyer Lunch
Where do lawyers meet for lunch?
At the food court.
Favorite Exercise
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch.
It’s called lunch.
Oppenheimer Line
I got in line to watch Oppenheimer around lunchtime, but I realized it was three hours long and I was starving.
So I went to the Barbie queue instead.
Lunch Together
The mayor in my city just passed a law that male best friends have to have lunch together at least once a week.
Well it’s not a law, it’s a mandate.
Stomach Problems
A man goes to the doctor complaining about stomach problems, so the doctor asks him what he’s been eating.
“I only eat pool balls,” he says. “Red ones for breakfast, yellow and orange ones for lunch, blue for afternoon snacks, and purple and black for dinner.”
“I see the problem,” says the doctor. “You’re not getting enough greens.”
Good Employees
My boss came to me at lunch and said, “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to find you all morning!”
I shrugged and said, “Good employees are hard to find.”
Airplane Meal
I’m on a plane and the lunch choices are white meat chicken or German sausage. Unfortunately, I’m seated in the last row.
I’m hoping for the breast, but preparing for the wurst.
Strip Club
I went to a strip club at lunchtime today but it wasn’t open.
The sign on the door said, “Sorry, we’re clothed”.
Dinosaur For Lunch
How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch?
Tea, Rex?
Work Perk
I had a row with my boss yesterday lunchtime.
One of the perks of working near a boating lake…
Chess Player
I went to lunch with a champion chess player.
It took him 8 minutes to pass me the salt.
School Bully
To this day, the boy who used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money.
On the plus side, he makes great Subway sandwiches.
Poor Mathematician
I know a mathematician who can’t afford lunch.
He’s binomial.
Expectant Father
An expectant father rang the hospital to see how his pregnant wife was getting on.
By mistake he was connected to the Lord’s cricket ground.
“How’s it going?” he asked.
“Fine,” came the answer,
“We’ve got three out and hope to have the rest out before lunch. The last one was a duck.”
