Vampires And Chickens
Why do vampires not attack chickens?
Their blood is fowl.
These scarily funny Halloween dad jokes are enough to send you bats with laughter!
Why do vampires not attack chickens?
Their blood is fowl.
How does a French skeleton say hello?
Bone-jour!
What did the ghost put on his bagel?
Scream cheese.
It’s finally October, which means all of the cobwebs and dust in my house just became Halloween decorations.
I’ve found that answering the door naked helps deter trick or treaters.
Oh here we go again, two dressed up as cops.
What do you call a blood-sucking tax specialist?
Account Dracula.
What kind of beer do vampires drink?
Blood light.
What is a skeleton’s favorite form of measurement?
Graveyards.
I just had a game of darts with a zombie and an alien.
One undead and E.T.
First day as a vampire hunter: Wow, this is easy!
First night as a vampire hunter: Oh no!
Why do all witches wear black?
So you can’t tell which witch is which.
Why don’t ghosts like to take showers?
Because it dampens their spirits.
What do you get when you send a wolf to therapy?
Aware wolf.
How does Dr. Frankenstein keep track of his body parts?
He uses an organ-izer.
“There’s only one thing that scares me at Halloween,” I said to my wife.
“Which is?” she asked questioningly.
“Exactly,” I replied.
What do you call a vampire who thinks the earth is flat?
No-sphere-ratu.
Why are skeletons always so calm?
Because nothing can get under their skin.
This girl ran up to me at the cemetery last night and said, “I need to pass through the cemetery but I’m scared to walk alone. Can you walk through with me?”
I said, “Oh yeah of course. Don’t worry, I used to be super scared of cemeteries when I was alive too.”
What do you call a ghost chicken?
A poultry-geist.
Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
I said to my son, “There’s only one thing about Halloween that scares me.”
He asked, “Which is?”
I replied, “Exactly!”