Irish Tomb

What do you call an Irish tomb full of coins?

A crypt o’currency.

Dentist Graves

Why are dentists’ graves hard to find?

There’s no plaque.

Arnie’s Tombstone

If Arnold Schwarzenegger’s tombstone doesn’t say, “I’ll be back…”

Someone has made a grave mistake.

Scary Cemetery

This girl ran up to me at the cemetery last night and said, “I need to pass through the cemetery but I’m scared to walk alone. Can you walk through with me?”

I said, “Oh yeah of course. Don’t worry, I used to be super scared of cemeteries when I was alive too.”

Headstone Typo

What do you call a typo on a headstone?

A grave mistake.

Big Mistake

My dad lost his job at the cemetery yesterday.

He buried someone in the wrong plot.

It was a grave mistake.


I dreamed I had to write my own epitaph.

That’s a grave sign.

Wife’s Grave

I visited my wife’s grave earlier today.

A guy came past and said, “Morning.”

I said, “No, just walking the dog.”

Egyptian Tomb

I got a job building Egyptian tombs, but it turned out to be a pyramid scheme.